Never Too Late
by tmntfan4eva
Summary: No one has a perfect life. This is especially true of Courtney. Sure she has a good friend there for her when she needs her, but when it's no longer worth it and things become to much for her to handle she dives right off the deep end. She thinks suicide.
1. The End

**I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with this in the long run. I know I really don't need to start up any more chapter fics atm, but I can't help myself. After reading another fan fiction I had to. It was really inspiring. So don't blame me! Blame the cursed writers who write too well. :P And as with my past few stories I will, once again, warn you that my update rate is based on my mood. Things get in the way, you know? So don't expect regular updates. Note: I also based this ever so slightly on ****RQ: Not Like the Movies... by ~guitarNrd362.**

It was the day after it happened, the day after that God awful moment that went on for forever in her eyes. It wasn't that this was the first time it had happened or anything, sadly it had become a quite regular occurrence. One might even say that it was now a part of her routine, something unavoidable which she dutifully complied with whenever the need arose. But she sure as hell didn't enjoy it! It was quite possibly the worst 'accomplishment' that she had ever had the misfortune of bringing about for herself. And there was no way to stop it. No matter how much she craved to have it end once and for all there was no way in hell her wish would be granted. Not a million wishes on each and every one of the stars in the sky could garner her the desired outcome.

These negative thoughts attacked her mind as she laid curled in a ball on her pink bed, her usually clean kept brown hair splayed out on her pillow. To add to her look of dishevelment her face was caked with dirt, Capri's torn in places, and a few cuts graced her caramel skin. All this and more had sobs racking her small body as tears streamed down her face. She had been crying for an hour straight, having kept an eye on the digital clock by her bed all the while. Only she didn't give a damn. If her body willed it then she would keep on crying until the end of time. This was how far she'd spiraled in the past few months, ever since she opened herself up to him. He was the only person she trusted and he now held the prize of being the only person who could break her in but two words. 'Let's go.' That was all it took and she was ready to fall on her knees and scream.

She let out a tortured moan at the very thought, bringing a trembling hand up to her face to gently touch her hairline. She needed to do it, it was something that was always done to her to calm her down by her mother and even **him**, back when he loved her. Still it wasn't enough, not this time. All it did was bring those horrid memories back to her full force. She was so jolted that she let out a sudden sharp breath as if the air had been knocked out of her from a blow. Only worse.

She was breathing rapidly now, trying her damn best to get her breathing back under control. It was such a strain that she found herself griping tight to her stomach with one hand and the sheets with the other. And before she knew it she was whimpering and whining again. She had quailed it thirty minutes ago after telling herself that he'd hear her if she was too loud. But her mind finally realized that this was a lie. As such there was no need to hide the pain.

"Honey!" she heard her mom's voice call. "Are you all right in there?" she sounded incredibly concerned, and Courtney was sure she was. But she couldn't tell her the truth. Because although many argue that the truth will set you free, it is not the case. To Courtney the truth would simply throw the key farther away, leaving her to be dragged deeper into her cage of darkness and despair.

That's why Courtney did as she always did when confronted. She drew in a deep, shaky breath, closed her eyes tight, and spoke as steadily as possible. "I'm fine mom!" she called back, choking back the sobs wedged in her throat.

There was hesitation on her mother's end. "Well...alright..." as she asked the question she had had her hand resting on the knob of the door, ready to enter in a moments notice. She even intended to do so without her daughters consent as well as if she were ok or not, but stopped herself. She couldn't do it. She'd hated it when her own mother had done the same and as such avoided falling into her pattern of thinking. So with a soft sigh she released the knob and slowly turned away from her daughter's room. It was then, as she walked down the flight of stairs leading first to the living room before she could enter the kitchen, that she found herself frowning slightly. She wondered what in the world was happening to her precious baby girl. She was no longer the bright, peppy girl she thought she knew. She had become someone foreign. So not her daughter.

Courtney listened to the steady beat of her mother's footsteps on the creaky hall floor and stairs until she was in the kitchen, where Courtney knew was the only place in the house she wouldn't be able to hear her mother's movements. Similar was the fact that her mother would be unable to hear her move around in her own room. It wasn't that her floor was squeak-free, but it was close. Close enough for Courtney's liking anyway. Yet for a time she refrained from moving. Her body was still sore and she wasn't to keen on enduring any more pain. And that's why she was about to do what she thought was the only cure. She planned it weeks ago, fed up even then, but she was too scared to go through with it. Every time she was given the perfect opportunity her nerves acted up like nothing else, heart beat a million miles an hour, and she collapsed to the floor. She was so inefficient that it was no wonder all this shit was happening to her.

Here she was going again, down that path that only led her further into depression and farther from accomplishing her goal. Speaking of depression...she gazed glassy eyed over to her desk across the room. Her depression meds which she'd went out and bought on one her better days were somewhere over there. She should take one now so as to help get over her experience. She whimpered, sobs quieting ever so slightly. But they were so far away. She couldn't recall why she'd moved them so far out of reach, all she knew was that she needed them now. "D-Damn it a-all..." she stuttered, voice as shaky as ever. Still, as pissed as she was by the length she gradually rolled across the bed until she met the edge before turning her body about carefully so that her feet dangled above the floor and she gingerly touched down. The pressure on her feet stung a bit, the pain not having subsided completely from yesterday. She cringed, whining softly. But it would be worth it, she told herself. The medicine would help it go away, all of it.

She looked lazily about herself, moving almost mechanically over to her faded white desk which she couldn't remember having used for much of anything in the past few months. It was untouched by her, all sorts of trinkets were littered across its top, the only large one being her computer. The keys were red around the edges from the blood that was spilled onto it. A shiver shot up her spine and her heart skipped a beat. No...don't think of it. She knew that if she did for to long she would become to depressed to be coherent even in her own mind. She had to get her meds, and fast.

She was shaking as she dug through all the crap on the desk in search of the tiny white bottle with the cymbalta inside. Her fear was creeping up on her like a lion going in for the kill. And she was only making it worse by panicking as she was. Of course this was also an effect of all that had been done to her. Normal Courtney would have not let anything get the better of her, she would have remained as cool and collected as ever in the face of anything at all, and most importantly she wouldn't have ever needed antidepressants let alone be searching for them like her life depended on them. "Come on...come on...!" she pleaded with herself and God.

A moment more of searching and she had had enough. She was down on her knees, arms clutching her body fiercely and strangled moans growing again. "Damn it!" she screamed rather loudly, to consumed with her own problems to think of the possibility of her mother hearing. Not that it mattered in the end. Her mother's footsteps could be heard far down in the basement. She would not hear a sound. Nothing at all.

The thought caught Courtney off guard. She...wouldn't hear? As she processed this she slowly brought her moans down to soft whimpers and forced her body to cease its incessant shaking. Once she reached this point of what she called perpetual bliss and others called on the brink of falling over the edge into an abyss she carefully picked herself back up, knees shaking beneath her despite her control. She then stared blankly down at the desk for a time, tear stained face reflected in the mirror on the wall behind the desk. It was good she didn't see it. She hated the thought of what she had become, so seeing the outcome plain as day would do irrevocable harm.

As the seconds slipped into minutes she tentatively reached down for the knob of the tiny drawer of the desk. It stuck slightly, but otherwise opened like it should. Inside was what she had searched so desperately for. It was just where she had left it. And now she remembered why she'd left it there. Her mother had begun to snoop around in her room recently due to Courtney's behavior. She needed to hide it from view or face the consequences. Although in this moment this memory held little place in importance to the more pressing matter of taking her pills. She snatched the bottle up, letting it rest in the palm of her hand out in front of her face. It was her connection to this world, her sanity, and more so her life. Without it she would definitely not be here.

She stifled a whimper, using a free hand to wipe the tears staining her face away as well as the freshly formed ones from her eyes. She knew then, as she flipped the cap off the bottle and poured a couple pills into her mouth, that she would be ok. It wasn't that the pills worked so fast, it was more so the fact that her mind wanted to believe they did. Just having the knowledge that they were working their way through her system lifted her mood. It was truly a testimony of mind over matter.

Sadly, her being her, she was cursed with bad luck. As she turned to walk back to her bed and sleep for a time she came face to face with her reflection. Her eyes shot open wide, pupils dilated, lip quivering strangely, and a panic attack hit her hard. This was why she no longer looked at herself. She hated what she had become. She was a worthless piece of shit who he called his property. She was even told once that she wasn't worth the ground they all walked on, that she didn't deserve him, and that she was the luckiest girl alive to have him by her side. After all, he didn't have to stay with her, he had a million other options out there, yet he chose her. And lastly she should be happy with her lot in life, happy that he didn't leave her.

The tears she had wiped away so short a time ago welled in her eyes for the umpteenth time, hiccups surfacing. She wanted to kill her, this person looking back at her. She wanted to make her go away so that she no longer could be tortured by her undying presence. It was then, as she emitted a deep growl at the sight of herself, that she felt a sudden surge of fury. And this time she acted on it. She didn't think about it, not even hesitating for a fraction of a second. She just did it. She slammed the pill bottle down, taking a firm hold on the gold rim of the perfectly imperfect mirror which still held her within its depths and thrust it with all her might into the adjacent wall. It shattered instantly, creating an unimaginably loud ringing noise to break the near perfect silence. It burned her ears, but she didn't care. All that she was registering was the fact that she had destroyed it, she shattered that ugly, undesirable face. It would no longer plague her, she was free. Yet if this were really true...then why did she still feel like dying...?

She slammed a fist into the wall which had destroyed her reflection. Her breathing was becoming heavier and heavier as the moments flew by, eyes bloodshot from rubbing, and body reverting back t its state of unstable shaking. Why? Why wasn't the feeling gone? What the hell was wrong with her and her head? Was it not enough? Did just knowing that the person who owned the reflection was still alive and well, there for all to see, enough to rattle her to her very core and disrupt the peace she rarely felt? Was she so weak...so hopeless...that not even this could satisfy her...?

And that's when she snapped. Her eyes narrowed down into slits, an intense fire burning where there once laid a pool of tears, her face contorted to match this new unexpected expression. No! She was not weak! She'd let a lot of things happen in the past bit of her life, but one thing she would not allow was for her to be thought of as weak. Never! And what better way to prove she was no coward then to fulfill the task she had opted out of many times before. It was so simple, so easy to foresee the outcome. She was going to kill herself. Yes, this was the truth. Instead of fighting and praying to be freed of this deathtrap she could not escape she would now work to be free of the world.

Once it was said and done all could see what her other wish, a dark wish, had been all along. And she wouldn't have to break the promise she made to herself, she could remain true to her code. It was a promise she regretted half the time, but one she would never dare break. It was a dirty little secret in more than one sense of the word. And it was destined to fade into oblivion, along with any trace of her existence.

She snatched the bottle back up, hand trembling around it. This was it. The end. No more. She slowly raised the bottle to her lips, preparing to tip it up so the capsules slid nicely down her throat, when her cell phone burst to life. She jumped half a mile at the sudden sound, eyes wide and heart beating a million miles an hour. She even spilled some of the pills on the floor in the process. What the hell? Who could be calling her now? It was rather eerie.

As the phone buzzed repeatedly, signifying a text had been received, she crept closer to see the caller id. It read, in blue text, Gwen. Courtney felt a pang of guilt then. God...Gwen. She'd nearly forgotten about her. She sighed bitterly. Gwen had been there for her the last couple of months, attempting to work her out of her depression and save her from herself. Courtney didn't quite believe it to be honest. There was no way she could have went from barely acknowledging her existence to caring about her in such short a time. Yet...Courtney wanted to believe it more then ever. She wanted to be able to say, 'Someone will miss me if I were gone. I won't be forgotten.'

Nevertheless Gwen and her possibly hurt feelings due to what Courtney was about to do wasn't enough to stop her. She was in too deep now, comfortable with the thought of being at peace, free from this wretched world that was Earth. But she did do one last thing before she killed herself. She gently lifted the now still phone from its place on the desk, flipped it open, and clicked on the text button. She didn't bother reading what Gwen's text had said, she didn't want to. Instead she wrote but a single word in a text all her own. 'Sorry...' and she jabbed the send button before letting the phone slip from her hand and hit the floor with a snap.

In the next instant, in one blink of her eye, she was setting her dark deed into motion. She brought the open pill bottle back to her lips, tipping it faster this time so as not to be interrupted a second time, and downed half of it.

She had to stop for a minute a second after because some were getting caught in her throat, causing her to cough and gag. She held on to her throat, coughing as hard as she could to dislodge the tiny capsules. It took a bit, but she eventually managed, spitting a couple back up on accident. But all she had to do was toss them back into her mother along with the rest of the bottle of pills. This time it was a clean swallow. She did it. Now all that was left was to wait for the dire consequences of her actions, actions that she herself found to be almost holy.  
It wasn't long before she could feel the change in her body. Her stomach was twisting itself into knots, vision starting to blur, a tingling sensation creeping up from the tips of her toes to her head. As the pain intensified by great magnitudes with the slow passage of time she found herself gripping her stomach tight before she dropped to her knees and emitted a sharp cry of agony. The tears were there again as she rolled around on the ground, screams never dissipating.

Then that pain in her stomach pushed itself upward, forcing a chunky substance into and out of her mouth. It spewed all over her clean carpet, soaking it through and through. But this was the least of her worries. Her biggest fear was that her mother would hear her tortured cries and come, mistaking them for a plea to be saved when, in reality, she wanted nothing more then to be let go. Her mother wouldn't understand. And then she'd be dragged to the hospital and saved before being thrown into a mental institute. This would be safer then living her life as she was, but it most certainly wasn't an option. She was going to die right here, right now, and that was all there was to it.

Her phone buzzed again. 'Nvm. Sent Duncan.'

**...**

Duncan had been going through Courtney's neighborhood when he decided to call Gwen. She was his best friend and he always liked to check up on her. So when the first words out of her mouth had been that she needed him to get her books for her he was a bit peeved. He would have liked to at least heard a pleasant greeting before she launched into asking favors. He showed his displeasure openly, getting no sympathy from Gwen for once.

"Duncan, I'm serious. You know I'm sick. So please, could you just go to Courtney's place and get my books?" she sneezed shortly after. Then she added, "I know you're right there too." her voice held a twinge of playfulness in it this time what with her knowing what he did every Friday and all.

He turned a deep crimson, eyes widening. "W-What are you talking about?" he muttered nervously.

Gwen rolled her eyes, shifting her position on the bed. "Save it." she sighed. "I never ask for much." she reminded.

Duncan chuckled. "Yeah, yeah, be there and back in a few." his at ease expression turned stern to match his tone. "But I'm not close to her house. I'm **not**." he insisted.

Gwen was the one to laugh softly this time. "Ok. See ya soon."

"Bye." he said in that charming voice of his, clicking his phone shut immediately after so he could focus on the road and getting to Courtney's house. And Gwen had been right. He was in her neighborhood, just like every Friday. He had a girlfriend of the sorts who he visited regularly. She was hot. So how could you blame him?

Gwen held the phone to her ear even after Duncan had hung up, his smooth tone faded into silence. She sighed bitterly. Now she could tell Courtney he was coming. She would no longer have to worry about it. Gwen then found her way to the text screen, missing the text that Courtney had sent a minute before while she had been on the phone. She was still blissfully unaware of the tragedy befalling her friend. And so she'd remain until it appeared on the news late that night.

And there it was. Her house had been only thirty seconds away. If he wanted to make Gwen believe that he wasn't lying, even though he was, he'd have to drive around aimlessly for quite a while. What a waste of gas. He smirked as he swung his car door open and stepped out into the light of the sun. Nah, it's totally worth. Just like doing this for her was worth it. It wasn't that he wanted to see her highness Courtney, in fact he didn't want much of anything to do with the prep aside from teasing. It was merely that Gwen was worth that much to him. And since she cared about Courtney, for some reason or another, he'd pretend to like her when he went to fetch Gwen's things.

He stepped up onto the porch, reaching out and ringing the doorbell easily.

Her mother was swift to reach the door and open it for Duncan. Her face was cheery, at least until who he was sunk in. Her face fell drastically. Her bright eyes turned cold, narrowing into slits, as her mouth curved down into a sharp frown. "What do you want?" she growled.

Duncan glared right back at her. "I'm here to get some stuff." he said simply, hoping not to have to elaborate.

She snorted. "You?" she growled incredulously. "When have you ever been in this house? Huh?" she jabbed a finger into his chest, voice sharp.

Duncan pushed her finger away from him. "Never, idiot." Gwen wouldn't want him being mean to Courtney, but that didn't mean her mother would be so lucky. He didn't give a damn what she thought of him. He already knew anyway. She'd taken one look and thought, 'troublesome bad boy punk.' That and she probably connected him with something concerning Courtney. No doubt she'd run home and whined about his harmless teasing. Which would be totally uncalled for in his opinion. Gwen could take it, seeing that it was a joke. Why not Courtney?

"Then why the hell are you on my property looking for 'some stuff'?" she used her fingers as quotation marks. "Cause you're not about to get anywhere near my daughter! You got that?"

"Chill lady!" he snapped. "I have no desire whatsoever to do the things you're thinking of to Courtney! K?"

Her mother didn't know how to take this. She wanted to be content with the fact he wasn't interested, yet at the same time she felt that he was saying that her daughter was not good enough for him. She was at a loss for words.

"I'm here for Gwen." he informed her after a moment of awkward silence. "It's her stuff." he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"Oh." her expression lost its intensity. "Alright." a pause. "Come on." she waved him in, still a mite bit suspicious of his intentions despite the fact he'd told her he was here for Gwen's things and Gwen's things only. "She's up in her room." she said absently as she led him up the stairs.

Duncan barely listened to her. He was busy taking in her wonderful home. Not a thing was out of place, no dust or cobwebs on the floor and corners of rooms, and all the colors were bright and inviting. Although he could have still gotten lost in the place. Just because it was nice and tidy didn't mean it wasn't a maze in and of itself. "Cool..." he muttered in a similar manner as Courtney's mother had, not really thinking about the words being said.

"There." she pointed toward her daughter's door. A sign which read 'Don't Disturb' hung on it.

Duncan nodded, moving in front of her to reach for the doorknob. He easily pushed it open, "Court, listen. I'm looking for-" he was halfway through his sentence before he opened his eyes and took in the scene before him. Courtney's body at this point was seizing uncontrollably like that of a fish out of water, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, skin a faded shade of her normal tone, and she was surrounded by a pool of her own vomit. Duncan's face was drained of all color, eyes wide in horror, hand automatically shooting up to cover his agape mouth. "Holy shit." he spit out, finding no breath nor brain power to say anything else.

Her mothers high pitched scream encompassed them then. It was a bloodcurdling sound. It even made Duncan cringe. "MY BABY!" she shoved Duncan out of the way to drop down by her daughters side and attempt to cradle her. "C-Courtney...m-my b-baby. What...what ha-happened...?" she moaned, tears rushing forth from her eyes as her sobs nearly choked her.

Duncan was frozen. He didn't know what to do. He wasn't close to her, so there was no pain, but at the same time he knew he was wrong for gawking like he was. He had to do something...something. He tore his gaze away from the thrashing body that was Courtney and her crumpled mother next to her just long enough to notice a small white bottle laying on its side not far from where she was. "Shit..." he breathed, jolting from his place to snatch it up and make sure he wasn't mistaken. Although he was damn sure there was no mistaking these signs. She had tried to kill herself by overdosing. Hey!" he barked. "Call 911!" he hesitated a moment in saying the horrid truth aloud, for no one wanted to hear that their precious baby had no desire to live. He knew this. Still he forced himself to say it. "She tried to kill herself!"

**What do you think? Was Courtney too ooc for your tastes? Well, if you knew what she was going through you probably wouldn't think so. But I'm not going to directly state what it is for a while, so feel free to guess away. You could even say what you think it is in your review if you want. Not like I'll tell you if you're right or not though. :P And the amount of reviews I get will play a part in determining how often I update. Just some food for thought. So please review! :D  
**


	2. Wires

**I forgot to mention it before, although it should be obvious, this was based around the song 'Never Too Late' by Three Days Grace. Also I would love to put this under both dxc and dxg category, but I can't. So just because it is in this category don't automatically assume they will be the end ship. I'm not saying that they won't either, honestly I don't know. Just don't assume anything.**

Courtney was rushed to the hospital as fast as was possible for them and was given immediate attention. She became the number one priority for the hospital, every doctor racing to apply the necessary treatments to save the young girls life. She would have been considered the life of the party had she been at one like all other normal teenagers. Unfortunately she was not. She was in the arms of the devil, facing death itself, instead of out partying the night away. And she was most certainly not normal. She was as far from it as it could get in her quiet town, and it would only get worse when word of her dark deed got out. And it would. Nothing was a secret in this town, everyone knew everything about everyone else. It was the one major drawback to residing where they did. Her mother knew this well too. She just never imagined it would be an issue. She never thought her baby, Courtney, could ever do anything wrong. Especially not this...suicide.

As this was going on Duncan and Courtney's mother were waiting in a room outside of where they had Courtney, forced to by the doctors. But even they had had issues getting her mother to comply. She'd pitched a fit and a half when initially separated from Courtney. She screamed, pushed, hit, and kicked in an attempt to pry through the wall of doctors to reach her daughter. To no avail. There were enough doctors to spare to drag her away, despite her desperate pleas and incessant behavior. And as she was brought further and further away she eventually gave up. She didn't have the energy, it was all drained from every pore of her body. All she wanted to know was one thing. Was her daughter going to live?

Duncan had his hands clasped on his knees as he hunched over in one of the crappy chairs outside Courtney's room. His face was still paler than its usual tone, eyes half open in order to hide the obvious distraught in his teal orbs, and lips drawn tight together. There was no better way to put it than he was in shock. Still, even after what felt like forever, he could barely register shit. Sure he knew Courtney was on the brink of dying, that they were at the hospital, and the all hell had broken loose in the matter of a few minutes, but that was about it. He didn't feel the proper emotions that normally went with seeing someone so near death, their body nothing more than dead weight in your arms as you carried their thrashing form from the house. He was strangely numb.

Courtney's mother hadn't ceased crying since the moment she walked in on her daughter as she had been, as good as dead. Her sobs, of course ebbed every now and then, but only enough to allow her time to breath regularly for a bit. Aside from that window she was nothing more than a shattered shell of her former self. She was so caught up in worrying for her baby that she didn't even notice that she wasn't in a seat like Duncan. She was crumpled on the floor of the hospital, arms wrapped around her body so racked with sobs that she herself appeared to be having a seizure of the sorts from time to time as she nearly choked from the consistency of her sobs, and tears streaked her beautiful face, ruining her makeup.

Duncan sighed sadly, mouth slipping into a deep frown as his eyes held even more pity then previously. He was even half regretting how he'd spoken to Courtney's mother back at the house. It may sound kind of like guilt talking, but if he had known that they were going to walk in on her daughter overdosing then he'd have never been so much of an ass. Seeing your kid like that was the worst feeling in the world for a parent. At least that's what his mother had told him, and on multiple occasions he might add. And as such he wished that there was something he could do or say to make this easier for her, to see her pain fade away. But there was nothing. Every time he opened his mouth to speak the words became tangled in his throat and he realized how foolish his thoughts were. She didn't need nor did she want to hear him tell her how sorry he was or that she should be calm because everything would be all right in the end. Because there was no guarantee that this would come to pass. And no mother wants to be fed lies, no matter how comforting.

Courtney's mother was screaming now, a few coherent words passing her lips. "W-Why! W-Why h-h-her!" she bellowed. "Wh-what's she e-ever d-done!" she was speaking to no one in particular, God perhaps. This was merely the way for her to cope with this unforgiving truth. It was the last hope she had to soothe her restless soul without seeing her daughter safe and sound before her eyes.

Duncan sighed again, unclasping his hands and bringing them up so he could rest his head in their palms. "Miss..." he murmured weakly, trailing off when he both realized he didn't know her last name and that she had frozen.

At the sound of the delinquents smooth voice, no matter how faint, she froze instantly. Her eyes opened wide, mouth curved into a sinister snarl. She hadn't heard what he'd said in all honesty, all she knew was that whatever he had to say was not worth her time. As such she found herself turning her puffy, ice cold eyes on him. "What?" she hissed, words coated with malice and voice amazingly steady.

Duncan swallowed hard. "I..." he trailed off again, licking his lips from nervousness. "I...sorry..." he spit out, jerking his eyes away from her own intense tortured ones. He couldn't bear to stare into them a moment more than he had to. And this ended that period of 'had to'.

Her nostrils flared, eyes ablaze, and teeth bared menacingly. "...Sorry...?" she growled, shaking now from anger instead of agony. "Sorry?" she said in the same tone, releasing a scream shortly after, hands clenched into tight fists. "You're fucking sorry!" she exploded, throwing her hands in to the air. "You just watched my daughter go through hell and-and..." she was starting to lose control. "A-And...all you can say is you're sorry!" she slammed both fists into the ground with immense force. It sent a backlash through her body in return, warning her that her body wasn't meant to do such things. Not that she was about to listen. She continued punching the floor in the same manner, screams increasing in volume and sobs coming back stronger all the while. "You bastard!" her hands were pounding from the result of her idiotic banging as she buried her face in her hands.

Duncan was extremely pissed off by her resorting to name calling. He hadn't done anything wrong! If anything he had saved her kids life. If not for him she might never have known what Courtney was doing until it was far to late, long after her body had gone still, breathing nonexistent, and heart ceased beating. As much as he knew this hurt at least this way she had a chance of coming out of it. Yet he did not act out on his anger. He bared his teeth and narrowed his eyes into slits, but no more. He knew better.

A nurse walked in then. "Ma'am." she muttered tentatively, tugging at her shirt sleeve. "Are you ok?" a pause. "Why don't you sit down?" she walked toward her, reaching out to take her by the hand and lift her up to her feet. This was an extremely bad move.

"God bless..." Duncan whispered to himself. He knew what was coming before it did.

The close proximity of the nurse was bad enough, but when she made contact it was all over. She all but murdered the poor woman. "Don't touch me!" she shrieked, smacking her clear across the face. "I don't need your fucking help!" she was standing now, staring the nurse down with all the intensity in the world. "Now get the fuck away from me! I'm not the patient! My daughter is!"

The nurse gawked all the while as Courtney's mother went off on her, rubbing her face tenderly to ease the stinging pain from the blow she'd endured. But she didn't dare speak. Once Courtney's mother had finished bitching she simply nodded before scurrying off to do anything but deal with this psycho.

Duncan emitted a low grow, running his fingers through his hair in order to keep calm because he honestly didn't know how much longer he could stand psycho mom here. He got a good enough dose of this from his own mother whenever he snuck out after curfew or got got smoking and the like. He could most definitely do without all this drama. And he was about to get up and leave when the door to Courtney's room opened.

Out walked a tall man with charcoal hair and baby blue eyes. He wore the get-up the differing from the nurses, signifying that he was not one of them. He was one of the leading doctors, someone a person only got to have when they were in dire condition. What was worse was that his face virtually unreadable, only sign of emotion being the solemn look in his eyes. "Mrs. Martin." the doctor said evenly, not giving any sign that the sight of this woman before him bothered him at all. He was the image of a perfect actor. And he should be, for he had been doing it for years. He knew better then to let his emotions of sorrow and pity get in the way.

She perked instantly, standing straight as a board before the doctor. "Y-Yes!" she stuttered, trying her best to control her shaking. She was actually doing pretty well too.

Duncan had been in thee process of getting up, so in the end it appeared he too was interested in the girl's fate. And in a way he was. He wanted to know if he was going to have to break the hard truth to Gwen, and more so he needed time to think of **how** he would do this. She wasn't fragile or anything, but lately she wasn't exactly her usual hard as stone resistant self either. That's ultimately why he found himself stepping forward toward the doctor instead of taking his initially planned path out of the building.

"We managed to pump most of the drugs out of your daughters system and she is now stable." he held in a sigh. "She is, however, still unconscious after having those seizures." a pause. "We'll need to keep her here overnight even if she wakes up before then so we can see if there is any long lasting damage done by the overdose." he withheld some information for a minute as to let all he'd already said sink in for her and whoever it was with her.

Courtney's mother didn't realize it, but she had been holding her breath as she waited for him to finish, finally letting it out when she heard it all. She smiled painfully, eyes dancing with a hint of their former life. She was so happy that her daughter was at least alive that she barely heard anything else. _She's stable. _his words bounced around in her head and she started to softly cry from joy.

Duncan half smiled at hearing that Gwen wouldn't have to be put through all hell because of Courtney's insane attempt on her life. But he also smiled for another reason. He smiled because her mother was smiling, because Courtney still had a life to live, and because he himself wanted to. But he couldn't help but wonder...would Courtney be so thrilled?

After scrutinizing the pairs faces thoroughly the doctor coughed lightly and spoke once more, "Once we determine the effects we will also have to put her under psych ward for seventy-two hours." a pause. "She will then be evaluated so we might know the reason behind her actions and her current mental stability level. After that..." he trailed off, not liking the look that played across her face. "...we'll see what happens." he altered his words, something highly uncommon for him. Yet it helped the woman little.

Courtney's mom let out a choked whimper, bringing a quaking hand up to cover her mouth, eyes wide in horror. "W-What...?" she breathed, voice wavering.

The doctor sighed. "It's how we handle overdose cases. Even when the patient isn't suici-"

"NO!" she snapped. "Don't say it! Don't you **dare** say it!" she shook her head violently back and forth. "My daughter is **not** suicidal! You hear me! She isn't!"

The doctor raised a brow at her. He was a parent himself and knew that it would hurt to an unimaginable extent to have his kid accused of being suicidal. But he wouldn't stand there and deny the facts before his very eyes like this woman was attempting, and failing, to do. There was such a thing as going to far in protecting you child. "Then why did she chug a bottle of cymbalta?" he asked sternly.

Her eyes grew wider still. "Cymbalta?"

He nodded. "It's what was on the bottle that he brought." the doctor nodded toward Duncan.

Duncan lowered his gaze, preferring to stay clear of this conversation. He just wanted to see her already. At least then he could tell Gwen all about it, at least the bits h saw fit.

"But...but..." she struggled to find an explanation. "W-We...don't have that..." she shook her head slowly. "No...that can't be right."

"Look at it yourself then." he shoved the bottle towards her, giving her the chance to see what was so plain. It was up to her whether or not she decided to look. He knew why she was hesitating too. She wanted to be able to say she was right, but she knew deep down she wasn't and thus didn't want to have tangible proof of the fact.

She tentatively took it from him, gently moving it about to read the label plastered across its side. It was as he said. Cymbalta. Her baby had gotten her hands on depression meds. But how? How had Courtney done this without her knowledge? It wasn't like her. Not at all. But there was one question that burned more fiercely in her mind then these. It also was the one which had the potential to break what little control she was managing in to pieces. Why hadn't she noticed her daughter was depressed and, dare she say, suicidal...?

Duncan sensed the immense amount of tension and terror in the air surrounding them. It was the same feeling he had right before something on one end snapped. If something wasn't done soon this lady was going to have a meltdown and then end up in the same place as her daughter.

The doctor saw all Duncan saw and did what Duncan was unable to do and spoke up. "But you can see her now." he said it a bit too quickly, an automatic tipoff to any sane person that he was trying to hard to change the subject.

Although at this moment Courtney's mother wasn't well enough to be classified as 'sane' and the sped of his words went unregistered. She just skipped right over to the words themselves. She zoned in on 'see her' and latched on tightly to them. "Yes!" she whimpered. "Yes..."

The doctor nodded, stepping toward her door in one swift movement. Halfway through the motion of opening the door he paused. "What about him?" he motioned toward Duncan. "What's he to the girl?"

Duncan went unfazed by the doctor's words which held an unusual edge to them as his eyes narrowed slightly. Besides, that's what he wanted, for him to grow fearful of his supposed power. And there was no way in hell that was happening. "A friend." Duncan growled right back, revealing his bared teeth and sent a glare back at the doctor.

The doctor looked over to the mother for conformation.

She hesitated under both Duncan and the doctor's gazes, shrinking. "I-I..." she mumbled, fumbling through the limited amount of words she had available to her at that moment with such a hazy mind to find the right answer. "I..." one last look over at Duncan and his slowly saddening teal eyes was all it took. "...yes..." still she found herself miserable by her decision.

The doctor snorted lightly, making a face in response to the mother's obvious lie. Still he didn't call her out on it. He merely did as he was paid to do, he lead them in the room holding Courtney.

Upon a first glance no one could have said without a doubt that the thing they were looking at was Courtney. She was that messed up. She had IV wires going in and out of her body all over, an endotracheal tube shoved down her throat to make sure she continued breathing, and she was strapped down to the bed by her wrists and ankles. It was an awful sight.

Duncan cringed at the sight. Still, at least he could say she was cleaned up and still. This was, in his eyes, an improvement from her condition in the house. Yet he did find the restraints to be a bit much considering she wasn't moving an inch. "Um..." he started uneasily. "Do you really need the restraints...?" he muttered.

The doctor glowered over at him. "I don't know. We were just using them while she was seizing to keep her still. But considering her state of mind if she were to wake up she might try that stunt again." a pause. "As long as she can't move then there is little to worry about. It's a hell of a lot easier this way."

Courtney's mother's lip was quivering awfully, eyes shining with fresh tears and increased levels of fear and inner torture as she clamped a firm hand over her mouth. She didn't want to say something wrong again, but she knew she would if she didn't do this.

Duncan grimaced as he watched her struggle as best she could to remain 'calm'. It wasn't working to well for her, anyone could see this. But he tried not to make it to obvious that he was staring at her as she crumpled for the umpteenth time in the past. After a minute of this, however, he decided on a more fruitful act. He walked closer to Courtney as she laid there, practically dead to an observer albeit the steady rise and fall of her chest. He sighed under his breath so as not to draw either the mother or the doctors attention seeing as they were both busy with dealing with the other. She looked so fragile, as if the slightest touch would shatter her into a million tiny pieces. She was so pale...so still...so sad looking...yet...so at peace. Compared to how she'd been before she was almost angelic like. The only things missing were the halo and wings. But she barely needed them. She was virtually perfect as it was. Now...if only he knew why such a perfect girl, pretty, smart, and rich, would want to die.

Duncan peered over his shoulder at the two still bickering adults. He didn't listen for what it was that they were arguing over though. He merely rolled his eyes before looking back to Courtney. He wanted to touch her. His eyes widened. What the hell? Where did that come from? He was insane! Just as bad as her even! Still, this didn't change his intentions. So with an unsteady hand he reached out and rubbed his fingers down the side of her face. Her skin was cold, sending a shiver down his spine, but it was balanced by how smooth it was. All of the dirt he swore had been there at her house had vanished into thin air. She was even, dare he say, beautiful in this moment. He smiled stupidly for an instant then, snapping out of it at the sound of her mother's harsh voice which was now directed at him.

"Back up!" she snapped. "Get away from her!" her voice was full of tears, trembling despite how hard she was trying to sound hateful. She lunged forward, pushing Duncan hard out of her way. "I said you could come in!" she breathed heavily, swallowing hard. "That doesn't mean you can touch her!" she spat, venom dripping from her words. After another moment of heated stares she focused her attention back on Courtney. "O-Oh...baby..." she murmured gently, so different then the way she'd been speaking to everyone else in the hospital. "Why...?" she sniffled, wiping at her eyes furtively. "W-Why did this happen...? H-How come I didn't see i-it coming? W-What was wrong with your l-life?" she moaned, caressing her daughters cheek much like Duncan had done previously.

The doctor watched for a moment before saying, "I'll leave you alone." he turned to leave, giving one last fleeting look their way before shutting the door behind him.

Duncan frowned lightly, thinking of taking the same course of action so he could hurry to Gwen and tell her before she heard it from someone else or, worse yet, saw it on the news. Only he found himself immobile. Or at least he couldn't get himself to exit the room as the doctor had so easily done. He knew to much of the situation. He felt obliged to stay with both Courtney and her mother, at least for a little longer. So a bit begrudgingly he walked around Courtney's bed and stood a foot or so away and watched. For what more was there to be done? He wasn't about to touch the girl again, not after the conniption fit her mother had had before. So instead he just stood there, stood and listened. He took in everything around him. The sound of the heart monitor beeping regularly nearby, the constant soft breathing of Courtney, her mothers pity inducing voice, and even the sound of his own breathing which, to his surprise, was ragged. He hadn't noticed before, to caught up in the moment, much like he hadn't noticed the tears that streaked his face. He'd been crying all along. Only no one had told him, not even his own mind.

He brought a slightly shaking hand up to touch his cheek, just to make sure. And sure enough, they were there. They were cool to the touch, long since lost their initial warmth. They were just as Courtney was, cold as death. Only he hoped that she wouldn't take that turn. It wasn't what her mother or Gwen needed right now. She needed to get better. And she would. She had to. This is what both he and her mother told themselves repeatedly as the hours slipped by, until Duncan finally left of his own accord, making a beeline for Gwen and her mother slipped into a troubled sleep. But even then the praying never stopped. It could not, not until she had her daughter back. Only then would she regain her sanity and float up to cloud nine. Only then.

**Kind of a better ending then the last one wouldn't you say? lol Courtney still isn't in the best of shape though. Also I'm gonna try to have all the chapters named after songs. This one is 'Wires' by Athlete. Anyway, hope you liked! :) Please review! :D**


	3. Who Knew?

**No longer on Courtney. This chapter's Gwen's. Enjoy!**

Duncan raced back to Courtney's house in order to get his car and get to Gwen's ten times faster. However, as he was about to slam on the gas pedal, it hit him.

In the rush of everything else that had happened today, he had forgotten the one reason that he'd come here in the first place.

He jumped from the car, heading at a fast walk back toward her house. Nothing had changed. Despite the drastic change in the family which resided there, it remained ever the same. he pushed the door open gently despite his rush, so as not to destroy anything. The inside was the same too.

He sighed bitterly, walking over to and up the stairs which he had descended with Courtney in his arms hours before. They were stained with the vomit that had covered the girl, but besides that, they were as they'd been upon his entry. As he reached the top, something caught his eye on the wall beside him.

He turned his head slightly, taking in the objects covering the wall. They were family photos. The first he noticed, the one in the center, had Courtney, her mother, and...was that her father? It was the largest, the picture intended to grab the attention of others first and foremost. And it did.

Courtney was young in this one, about four or five maybe, her mother much younger as well. They both looked happy here, more so then they'd been today. The man, on the other hand, did not appear to harbor the same feelings. His face was set in a stone cold manner, eyes void of life, and mouth a flat line. The only hint of his affinity towards Courtney was that he had his hand resting on her shoulder.

Duncan tore his gaze from this one to glance over the others. There was one of Courtney on her first day of elementary school, a pink bow in her raised hair, a red backpack over her shoulders, and a front tooth missing from her otherwise perfect smile. Another had her at about nine, still with that same backpack, albeit a bit worn, and her hair was longer, not held up by anything. He looked further. The next one which caught his eye was one that held both her and her mother in it. Now, however, her mother's face came off as more turned, her smile forced, and eyes lacking the same life as in the center picture. Even Courtney didn't seem as bright. In fact, they both appeared to have been crying. Courtney was six, with that same bow in her hair as the individual picture of her. Duncan furrowed his brow. What happened to them...?

He shook himself of this bad feeling, turning slightly to look at some more despite his better judgment. In the next one she was in middle school. She no longer had that backpack, having traded it in for books which she carried in her arms. Her smile was smaller then when she was a child, but it still gave off a lovely glow, and her hair was shortened down to about her chest. It was yet to be as short as it had been today.

None of the others were all that interesting, lacking something the others had. They were simply pictures to him. But there were many of them, of her alone, of her with her mother, and a few of her and friends, but no father. He was in but one.

Duncan cocked his head. Why? Could it be...he left them? He jerked his head back to the one of the two looking so sad. Was that the reason behind their tortured faces? It was definitely a possibility. It would be one of the few things a six year old would understand. _Daddy is leaving..._

Duncan cringed, turning away from the wall so as not to be pulled in to any more of this family's issues. Only half way through the action, he set eyes on a rather intriguing piece. He narrowed his eyes, studying it harder then the others. She was nearly identical to the girl he knew. Her hair was cut perfectly so that it reached just above her shoulders, she was wearing her usual gray and white collar shirt, and her eyes held a glassy look. It was the same look as she'd had as she seized, only in this image, there was a hint of terror mixed in. As strange as it sounds, she hadn't appeared afraid of death. Instead, it seemed, she was more afraid to live. And truthfully, as he further scrutinized the picture, he saw shockingly similar aspects between her and the one image of her father. Her lips were drawn tight, only the corners of her lips turning up ever so slightly simply because she forced it, her face was drained of life, eyes looking straight on at the camera in a way that one would only find necessary when another was holding a gun to your head. The latter didn't exactly apply to her father, but it didn't make it any less jolting. This previously hidden factor actually gave the piece a much darker feel along with a sense of strangulation. It was as if at any moment the girl before him would die from lack of air. And in a sense, it was true. It had taken longer then normal strangulation, but it had nearly happened. She'd been so close to death.

That was it! No more of this! He came here for one reason and one reason only. He needed to find Gwen's books and return them to her.

She was probably freaking out right now over his absence. God knows, she probably had called him about fifty times since he abandoned his task for her and went to aid Courtney and her mother, so he needed to get a move on! He didn't want her to be crying over him, especially when she was going to have to cry again because of Courtney.

He then swiftly entered Courtney's room, scanning the space just as fast. He saw the made-up bed, the cluttered desk, the disgusting floor, and any other inch that wasn't these. Nothing.

He frowned from annoyance, stepping further into her domain. He noticed she had a closet that had been out of his view previously and floated toward it. It was unimaginably clean, everything organized according to type of clothing. But despite the cleanliness, there was a set of books lying on the floor beneath the hanging clothes. Duncan knew it well. There was no denying it was Gwen's.

He scooped them up in one easy movement. They were so light compared to his own books that he nearly fell backwards from the amount of effort he exerted. It would have been perfect if it was his things, but he hadn't accounted for the difference. He chuckled lightly at his slip up. "Funny shit," he breathed, staring aimlessly at the wall a moment before losing his grin, and leaving her home.

As he exited the house, it hit him. As much as it was all the same, there was one thing that had changed.

The hectic situation he had had the misfortune of walking in on was no more. The house no longer held that feeling of insanity which had consumed it. It was strangely at peace, a solemn kind of peace mind you, but peaceful nonetheless.

Although one thing this factor would never change, not ever, was how a certain fog of despair and forlorn would descend upon the house and wrap it in an inescapable grip. It would feel the effects long after the whispers died and those who knew passed on. Much like the victims themselves, it would hold the secret within until the end of time.

Duncan was particularly sullen as he slipped into his car, dumped Gwen's books on the passenger seat, and started the car, shutting the door behind him as he sped off.

For all the miles he covered, he never once ceased thinking about how he was going to explain this all to Gwen and whether he should say anything at all, but naturally, by the end of his ride, he had come to the conclusion that he would have to say it...somehow.

He sighed irritably, running his fingers through his dark black hair. "God help me," he murmured, pulling up into the driveway of Gwen's home.

It was so unlike Courtney's. It had an outwardly dark appearance, perfect for Halloween, which Gwen loved so much. That's why her mother never bothered changing the color and only went over it with the same shade. Not to mention the biggest difference:Gwen lived in a "poor" neighborhood while Courtney lived in the richest part of town.

As such, there was no porch at Gwen's house, just stepping stones that Duncan took over the dirt to reach the door. In fact, although he'd never really noticed before, there was no doorbell. He had to do it the old fashioned way. He rapped on the door.

For a while, there was nothing but silence on the inside and Duncan had to wonder if she was even here. He peeked around his shoulder. Their car was there, so why was he getting no response?

He knocked on the door again, growing impatient the more time passed. He even found himself crossing his arms across his chest as well as tapping his foot repeatedly on the concrete. "Where are you...?" he whispered to himself.

With a dark scowl on his features, he now reached out to hit the door with much more force then before. As he raised his clenched fist the sound of hurried footsteps finally reached him. They sounded like the person was running a race to get to the door and he cocked a brow. Only when he saw her did he fully understand.

Gwen hadn't heard the knocking the first little while, but once she had, she launched into a full out sprint. She reached the door in five seconds flat, flinging it open with great force.

Her action was so swift that she nearly banged Duncan with it in the process. His only saving grace was that he had anticipated it and jumped back a step.

Immediately after setting eyes on him, Gwen launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck in a tight hold and pressed her shaking body up against his calm one. "Duncan!" She cried, voice wavering some. "God, Duncan!" She squeezed tighter. "Thank God..." she murmured much softer.

Duncan's eyes grew wide and a slight blush crept up onto his cheeks. He had expected the hug, not as fast, but he knew it would come from his unexpectedly long absence.

However the thing that really caught him off guard was the fact that she was crying. As she nuzzled into his neck he felt fresh tears slip from her face onto his skin. He shivered unintentionally, wrapping his arms around her waist a moment after.

"Gwen..." he muttered gently, leaning his head down so his mouth rested right next to her ear. Not only that but he was able to smell the fruity flavors in her hair. "Don't cry..." he cooed.

As he spoke, his breath tickled her ear, sending a tingling sensation throughout her body. Still, this was not enough to clear her mind and soothe her soul. If anything it made the fire burning inside her flare up more.

"Asshole..." she moaned in unconvincing anger. It was especially unbelievable when, as she spoke, she pressed herself harder against him and tightened her grip as much as possible without choking Duncan. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

Duncan swallowed hard, closing his eyes tight. "I...don't know..." he knew what she was referring to, but he didn't want to have to further her distress in this moment. He wanted to get her as calm as he could before he inevitably spilled all the beans.

Gwen emitted a loud snort, jerking away out of his hold to stand a foot away. "You. Don't. Know," she said through clenched teeth. "What the hell does that mean?" She yelped. "You had me worried **sick**!" She heaved an irritated sigh. "Do you get that?" She jabbed a finger into his chest. "Do you understand the gravity of the situation?" She said in an almost mocking tone as she waved her hands around to signify the gravity.

Duncan cringed at her harsh tone. He hated when she got mad at him even though it didn't happen all too often. It hurt him for a multitude of reasons, some he wasn't even sure he could explain.

"Gwen..." he trailed off, searching for the right words. "I...look, I'm sorry," he held his arms out as if he were inviting her into another hug. "I don't know what else to say. I'm just really, really, sorry." he cringed again as these words brought him back to when he was back at the hospital and he'd needed something to say to Courtney's mother.

"Sorry?" she whined pitifully. She wasn't even bothering to put up a mask of anger towards him. She didn't have the energy. All the emotion she was capable of displaying was that of immense hurt and betrayal. The anger was overpowered by these feelings. "That's it?" she paused to bite her lip and force the tears to stay back. "You disappear for hours and-and...hours...and all you can say is s-sorry...?"

Duncan was hurting to an unimaginable extent as he listened to her fall apart. His eyes held just as much pain in their depths as Gwen's did and his eyes even gleamed with faint trances of tears. He, much like her, had to struggle to maintain control of them. "What do you want me to say?" he begged her to give him the answer. He didn't know anything but the truth and it had no chance in hell of working. Her stuttering wasn't making this any easier either, nor was her strained tear, stained face, and tortured eyes.

"I don't know!" She snapped, swallowing hard to stifle her tears. "B-But...I need something!...Something more." she whined softly after the words passed her lips.

He didn't know what to say. All he could manage was to remain standing on his own two feet. As such he didn't know how she expected him to help her too.

"Duncan..." she whispered. He perked, eyes wide. "You were gone..." he lowered his eyes to the ground. "And...I-I...was so scared. I-I called...but-but...you didn't answer." a pause. "D-Duncan, you said a few minutes, but-but it ended up being forever..." her voice caught in her throat and she jerked her head to the side so as to hide the tears which now slipped from her coal eyes down her pale skin. "I thought you might have..."

Duncan cringed at the implication and ended up answering. "...Died...?" it was an awful thought, but completely rational. When someone tells you they're going to be somewhere in a few minutes and then they aren't, what else would you think? Ok, maybe not being a little late garners such a reaction, but when you remain absent for hours after and there's no call made to inform them of your whereabouts it is totally warranted.

Gwen whimpered lightly, staying glued to her spot despite her desire to go back to Duncan.

Duncan wiped at his own eyes. "I know. And I wish I wasn't so stupid and had told you, but I didn't. Okay?" he gently said. "But I really am sorry." he moved a step closer, close enough to reach his arms out around her upper back and slowly pull her closer.

She let him take her, only moving once her face made contact with his upper chest. Then she wrapped her small arms around his back and pressed her face deep in his shirt. She let the tears flow easily at this point, his presence soothing her at last. "I'm just glad that you're ok..." she whispered, tenseness fading from her body.

Duncan sighed heavily, shedding a few tears himself as he pressed his face down on to the top of her blue and black hair. "I know." he muttered in return.

Despite the chill in the air, they remained there for a good thirty minutes. Just being with the other was enough to counter the wind which encompassed them. Duncan was especially warm, being a guy and all, and had enough body heat to keep himself content as well as give some away to his best friend. Only when dark clouds drifted overhead did he move.

"Gwen?" he murmured.

Gwen uttered a soft sound that wasn't coherent in the English language, but he knew she meant to go on.

Duncan smiled wanly. "It's gonna rain." he said in the same hushed tone. "We should go inside."

Gwen didn't move nor make a sound for a minute after, waiting until the first official signs of the changing weather patterns came. The lightning lit up the dark night sky brilliantly, catching the both of them off guard to an extent.

Gwen sucked in a sharp breath, no thanks to how on edge she was. "Okay," she muttered, rubbing her head against his chest one last time before pulling herself back away from him and moving to stand by his side.

He smiled a bit wider since she seemed to be gradually returning to her usual self, but it was only slightly bigger because he knew he was getting closer to having to reveal his whereabouts the past few hours. He grabbed for her hand then, leading her slowly back into her house and over to the black couch before the medium sized TV they owned. It was one of their nicer things.

Gwen wiped at her eyes as she settled onto the couch, a tiny twitch of a smile making itself known on her face. And her smile only grew wider as the minutes passed and she stared contentedly up into Duncan's teal orbs. "Wanna watch something?" she asked sweetly, reaching for the remote on the coffee table before them.

_Yes._ That's what Duncan wanted to say at least. Only he knew better then to do this. It would certainly ease both their nerves, but ultimately it would do nothing but procrastinate, and he'd had enough of putting things off.

"Gwen." he reached out to grab her hand and stop her from taking hold of the remote.

Gwen's eyes widened slightly. "What?" she said softly, tilting her head ever so slightly.

Duncan mentally cringed. God, how to say this? Should he be blunt and say that Courtney tried to kill herself, or was it better if he beat around the bush for a while? And quite possibly would waiting like he knew he shouldn't have the best end result?

He sighed lightly. Was there really a right way? He flashed her his trademark smirk. "I get to pick."

Gwen stared blankly at him for a moment, blinking a couple of times. After a moment she recovered and flashed him a similar facial expression. "Whatever." she snorted, moving her hand from his to snatch the remote up before gently tossing it his way.

Duncan mentally kicked his own ass for chickening out at the last second while he flipped through the channels to find some late night horror movie they could watch for the millionth time. There was a slim chance it would be new at least, considering they'd gone and watched all the good ones at least a hundred times. He stopped when he landed on a channel showing one of the many Saw movies. He wasn't sure which one it was yet, but it wouldn't be hard to tell within a few minutes.

"Oh!" Gwen cried, pointing animatedly at the screen. "I can't believe it! It's the third one! My favorite!" she laughed sweetly. "It's totally the most gory one too." she gave Duncan an evil-like grin, expecting to receive the same in return.

Duncan did as she wished, grin almost more sinister than her own. He didn't know how she guessed the number. It was so swiftly but it mattered little. He was simply glad it wasn't the gay first Saw which had very little gore. He loved gory movies just as much if not more than she did and so was immensely pleased with his find. "Yeah, baby," he chirped, holding out a hand for a high five.

Gwen was quick to reciprocate, slapping her hand against his. "Now let the blood fly!" she said as if she were capable of willing the movie to do as she said instead of it all being laid out in stone before hand.

Almost an hour and forty minutes had passed before they said another word to each other. Sure they frequently yelled at the TV and cheered when a character met a particularly gruesome fate, but it wasn't meant for the other to respond to.

"Awesome ending." Duncan said with satisfaction, crossing his arms over his chest as he relaxed and leaned back easily to rest against the back of the couch.

"I know!" Gwen piped, grinning from ear to ear. "Those flicks always make me happy."

Gwen didn't see it all, but her words made Duncan cringe. He looked further into them than one usually would have and saw, instead of a happy girl amused by a movie, someone who was telling him that the movie was better at calming her down then he, her best friend, and it stung. That bitterness that he had fought down back when she had been so fragile was creeping back up on to him.

"Yeah," he muttered halfheartedly, looking over towards the kitchen. It was his escape. "Hey," he chirped. "Want something to eat?" he hopped up without even waiting to hear her response.

"Duncan!" she called.

He looked back over his shoulder at her with a frown plastered on his otherwise perfect face.

"Are you okay?" She muttered, her smile slipping into a frown and her ecstatic eyes holding a glint of concern.

Duncan cringed again, faking a smile. "Of course," he waved a hand about to emphasis this. "This is fun."

She narrowed her gaze. "Duncan," she growled.

His fake expression fell back into that same sad look. "Really," he murmured.

She glared at him a minute more, scrutinizing his face as much as she could before she finally gave it up. "Alright," she sighed, turning back to the television. "How about some news then?" She half asked him.

He had had some popcorn in a bowl in his hands when she spoke and he instantly dropped it.

"Shit," he whispered. No, no, no! "Gwen!" He cried, hopping over the back of the couch to get to her and snatch the remote out of her hand. He clicked any combination of numbers once it was his, just wanting to get the news off the screen.

"Hey!" She whined, hitting him playfully in the side in slight annoyance. "What'd you do that for?" she grumbled, staring intensely at him once more.

Duncan had no answer for this. "I…" he trailed off.

She rolled her eyes. "Gimme the remote back," she ordered, laying her hand out in front of him. "Unless you have something to hide," she challenged, a brow raised.

He swallowed hard, hesitating in deciding whether to let her have the remote or tell her right here and now.

Gwen emitted a low growl. "Duncan." Her face changed then, lip puckered out and eyes wide in a pity act. "Come on," she whined. "I wanna know what's happening. And…I thought I saw something big about here."

Oh! It was just coming on when she turned it on? Then maybe it'll be close to over! He shrugged. "Fine." He tossed her the remote.

"Thanks," she chirped, smiling big.

She flipped the channel back, just missing the part where it said Courtney's name. "…attempted suicide today in her home on Arrowhead Dr. She was rushed to the hospital and is now said to be in stable condition. Further actions in response to this mind-boggling event are unknown." A pause. "We'll keep you updated. This is your anchorman Ken and this has been the ten o'clock news."

"Aw…" Gwen moaned, crossing her arms over her chest and threw herself back to rest on the couch comfortably. "Man…I just missed one of the only interesting things on the news about this sleepy town." she huffed. "Damn it, Duncan."

He couldn't help but chuckle at her pouting even though he was terrified that she might ask him if he knew anything about this, and when confronted so bluntly, he knew he was unlikely to lie to her. "Sorry," he shrugged. "If I'd known it would've actually been cool I wouldn't have messed with you."

Gwen had the sense that this was a load of crap. Something was just off about her friend. He was fidgeting ever so slightly, his eyes rarely made contact with her own, and his voice sounded as if it belonged to someone else. It wasn't like she was an expert on lying, but she could just tell. "Duncan?" She whispered.

He started at the softness that her voice possessed in that moment. "Yeah?" He knew what was coming. Damn it.

She frowned deeply. "What are you hiding from me?" She paused to allow him a moment to react.

He swallowed hard, lowering his gaze to the ground. "Nothing," he muttered unconvincingly.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't look that way. Look at me." She waited for him to obey.

He slowly looked up to meet her coal eyes, a shiver running down his spine as he was drawn deeper into them. Yet as much as they spooked him he was unable to pull away.

"Now." A pause. "Tell me to my face that nothing is up with you." She eyed him expectantly.

He whined under his breath. "No. I won't." he admitted. "It's not alright."

"I knew it," she said with pride, lifting her head in the air for a moment before she looked back into his teal orbs. "So, what is it?" She pressed.

Damn it. Why couldn't she leave well enough alone? "I…" he trailed off.

She shook her head. "Did it have anything to do with what was just on the news?"

He shuddered involuntarily.

Her eyes widened. "Really? Who was it then?" She pressured, almost excited to find out instead of afraid. "Oh, no," she breathed. "Was it her? Your girlfriend?"

Duncan made a face. "No!" he snapped. "Of course not! She'd **never** do that! Her life's perfect." He mentally cringed at his words. _So was Courtney's. _Maybe that didn't really matter in the end. At least not what everyone else saw. Sometimes there were things which no one was allowed access to that drove people to extremes.

Gwen cocked her head to the side. "Who else lives there that you give a damn about then?" She was truly perplexed. "The only other person I even know there is…" and then she froze. Realization dawned on her.

He sighed, seeing the horror of knowing set in on her face. "Gwen…" he sighed. "I should have told you before, but…you were already upset." He sighed, shoulders slumping. "I didn't want to see you cry even more." He swallowed hard, choking back the sadness he was sure was also swelling in Gwen.

Gwen remained silent, mouth refusing to open as she grappled with it all.

Gwen's silence only worked to further his inner agony. "Gwen..." he murmured, reaching a hand out toward her.

She smacked it away, shocked expression transforming into hate. "No!" she snapped. "Don't touch me!" she sighed heavily, crossing her arms and looked the opposite direction of him.

Duncan's frown deepened as much as was possible. "I was only trying to protect you." He tried his damnedest to convince her. "Really," he whined.

Gwen glanced at him from the corner of her burning eyes, mouth frozen in it's sharp snarl. She was quick to look away again though so as not to let him believe she was on his side.

"Stop it." she growled. It wasn't that she wanted to fight, she just hated when he treated her like some fragile piece of glass which would shatter at any given moment if the circumstances weren't to its desire. She hated when he thought she was like any other girl. Because she wasn't! She was so much more than that. Otherwise, he would never have gotten so incredibly close to her. Had he so easily forgotten this? Every girl had fought tooth and nail to be as she was now. She, however, had fit neatly into the spot by his side. She deserved the same treatment as she'd received back then. She wanted to be different. "I'm not so weak." Despite her words her voice wavered slightly.

Duncan hung his head slightly. "Fine." he shrugged, turning away from her as she had him.

Gwen swallowed hard, a low whine pushing its way out of her throat. "Duncan..." she whimpered. "Why...?"

Duncan jerked his head about to face her instantly without another thought. His eyes were wide even though he knew he needn't worry about her so.

Gwen closed her eyes tight, tears hiding behind. "Why'd she do it...?"

Duncan cringed. He had no answer for this no matter how long he spent thinking about it. Nothing he came up with really made much of any sense. Her life was perfect after all. She was rich, she was smart, she was even beautiful for God's sake. What in the world happened to the girl?

Chocked sobs itched at the back of her throat. "I mean, I knew that..." she trailed off, clamping her mouth shut so that she didn't spill something she'd known forever. It's not like it would be earth shattering now or anything, not after what Courtney did, or more so, got caught trying to do. Still, it made her feel like a backstabber saying that all along she'd known how very screwed up Courtney was. A backstabber to her for breaking a promise, and a backstabber to all those who loved Courtney for not telling them from the start. Courtney was depressed. But Gwen never knew why.

Duncan cocked a brow. Knew...? Knew what? "Gwen." He scooted closer to her, giving her an easy opportunity to lean on him. "I don't know."

She stifled a whine, gentle tears leaking from her eyes as she opened them to look up at Duncan. "Me either," she moaned, resting her head on his shoulder but not moving to embrace him.

Duncan sighed softly, respecting her wish to not hug him. He knew she hated weakness just as much as he did and that their weakness was extremely similar. They both despised the relationships they cultivated when they grew as great as their's had become because, at some point or another, it would end up hurting one or both of them. Today was a prime example. Duncan was hurting just as much as she was over his own absence as well as Courtney's predicament. That's why he wanted little to do with a lot of people to such an extent, he hated hurting.

"She'll be ok..." he murmured close to her ear.

She wanted to say no, that he must be stupid if he really believed this. She wanted to get mad at him over trying to pretend the issue wasn't as large as it was. But in the end she did not. As much as she wanted to, she knew that he didn't deserve it. He was only trying to make her feel better and spark a bit of hope or a smile even.

So she did.

She smiled wanly, more pain then hope showing through. "If you say so..."

**Gwen is harder for me to write for some reason. A lot of things I do make her feel ooc imo. Like...she's not weak in most cases, but in this her relationships make her extremely weak. *shrug* Maybe that's normal, but idk. Please review!**


	4. I'm With You

**Here's the next bit. In a way I like how this turned out but at the same time I think it could be better. idk.**

Weeks had passed since the awful event of Courtney's attempted suicide until she was finally released from the watchful eye of the doctors.

They'd kept her long after the allotted time they'd told her mother of due to all the prominent signs of someone who had every intention of ending their own life at any given moment. They'd also made sure to never let her alone because of this. There was always someone watching, even if she didn't know it.

There was no privacy.

She was smart enough to realize this though since she never tried to hurt herself again. That and she was always looking around the room and over her shoulder when she walked around or drifted into sleep. This played a factor into how fast she was let go, meaning she was kept longer then usual. She was a serious case, the worst this hospital had came across in all its years.

Now she was ready to go back to school, an interactive environment. At least that's what her doctors and psych ward nurses told her mother. It was hard to completely believe, especially when you considered the sideways glances they did when delivering this message, but her mother was too thrilled to have her daughter back to notice or care. Still, her ignorance toward them didn't mean she was fully sure of her daughter's stability.

She was always checking on her, barely allowing her out albeit for school. And, deep down, there was the ever present fear that her daughter still wasn't really the daughter she'd known before, nor would she ever be.

So as she parted ways with her baby for the first time she was as jittery as ever. She was sweating immensely, stuttering as well when she spoke, "A-Are you sure you'll be a-alright?" She muttered, wringing her hands.

Courtney rolled her eyes in irritation. She hated how this whole mess had changed her mother. Now she was far worse then she could ever have been before. More so she was thoroughly displeased to be back in civilization in general. Despite the lack of privacy, she much preferred the safety of the hospital to the harshness that was her reality. If only she'd looked at the stupid text! Then she'd known better then to do this!

She mentally slapped herself. She would have held off until a little later time to insure that she went undisturbed. If only…

"Mom!" She snapped. "You heard the doctors. I'm fine." She grabbed her books sitting next to her in the back seat of the car, gripping the handle of the car door and threw it open. "Really." She said through clenched teeth, knowing all the while it was the biggest fattest lie that had ever passed her brown tinted lips.

"B-But…" her mother trailed off, frowning deeply and lowered her gaze to the ground.

Courtney sighed heavily, walking forward to the front seat and opened the door to lean far over towards her mother. "Relax," she said in a false sweet tone, kissing her mother on the cheek like she used to when she was a kid. "I promise nothing will go wrong." Even as she said it, images of the worst possible scenarios were shooting through Courtney's head, making her cringe despite herself. "Okay?" she pulled back out as she flashed her mother a brilliant smile. She was sure if her mother wasn't so desperate to find a shred of hope to cling on to, she would have seen the truth beneath this mask. Courtney was scared shitless, just like her, and she wasn't better. She was so far from it.

Her mother forced a half smile. "Alright." A pause. "Just…don't get hurt," she whispered, waving halfheartedly as her daughter pulled away from her and headed off to school.

She wanted to say more than just that though, so very much. She wanted to say "just don't kill yourself", only stopping when she realized how awkward it would be. Even the way she'd worded it now hadn't felt quite right considering the circumstances. And her daughter thought the same for as she pulled back, even though she tried to hide it from her, she saw her eyes widen and her smile falter. Her mother was sorry too. But like many things, you never got the chance to change your answer.

Courtney walked briskly away from the car, swallowing hard to keep down the feelings her mother had practically dragged out from her stomach with nothing more than her bare hands. It was definitely a struggle. Her mouth refused to stay in an upward arc much like her eyes wouldn't shine as she'd fought so hard over the weeks to teach them to.

She hated it. It was much like the feelings she had when she'd killed herself, only that hate had been toward her existence and **him**. She even thought of trying it again, despite all she'd been through and all she'd been told.

_You know what will happen to you if you do this again, right? _The doctor had said in his stone cold voice with his arms crossed near the time she was released. _You won't be so lucky as you were this time._ She'd perked at this, thinking for an instant he meant she'd surely die. But no, this was not what he meant. He made this clear. _No. You won't die_. Her face fell. _You'll be carted off to an insane asylum m'dear._ Courtney shivered at the thought, but…she would be safe.

As this thought entered her mind she made an abrupt stop, hitting something head on. Or, to be more specific, someone.

"What the hell!" They snapped, eyes burning as they turned around to face her. Only upon realization of who they had run into did the fury die fast. Their eyes widened greatly, mouth falling shut immediately.

"I…um…sorry. My bad." He rubbed the back of his head nervously, offering a fake half smile.

"Yeah." They muttered it all too fast, zipping off as soon as they could.

Courtney blinked a couple of times after them. What was that? He was acting like she was some kind of deadly disease or something. Sure the town was rather small and news traveled pretty damn fast, but still…why was he so scared? Suicidal people weren't the same as murderers. It wasn't like she was going to kill anyone else when she decided she was ready to die!

Courtney snorted. "Asshole," she breathed, stomping on toward her designated class.

If the event that just transpired wasn't bad enough, she then saw that everyone else held about the same opinion. As she entered the room she was greeted by nervous looks and side glances when they thought she wasn't paying attention. Even worse, when she caught someone's eye they would jump as if they'd seen a ghost and turn to face the exact opposite direction.

It was the worst thing she'd had to endure aside from the whole surviving the damn suicide bit, and honestly, it was pissing her off greatly. It took all she had to keep herself from really giving those morons something to be scared of and biting their heads off. And it only got worse.

In second period, they not only ignored her, but they whispered in each others' ears about her, or at least that's what she guessed they were speaking of. What else was there to whisper about anyway? Her theory was further proved when she noticed how the voices froze mid-sentence whenever she glared heatedly at them. If it wasn't about her, there'd be no reason whatsoever for them to stop so suddenly and they would have been telling her of the secret if she wasn't the secret. And not once did someone dare turn her way to whisper in her ear. She was furious.

Third and fourth period went much like the first two combined, only at this point, she no longer had the energy to put up a mean front. Now all she could manage was to look over sadly at them all.

All these idiots' actions were finally wearing her down, but next was lunch and she hoped to dear God that this would be her chance to escape. Although, deep down, she knew this was more of a dream than anything else. These people, these monsters, they would never stop, not for a long time. It mattered not where she went. They'd follow.

However, as desperate as she was to reach the lunchroom in hopes of getting away from all their tentative gazes, as the bell rang, she found herself immobile. She couldn't move no matter how hard she tried. She simply allowed the crowd to file out of the class into the hall and head toward lunch as she stared after them. And she remained as such until a voice penetrated her mind.

"Are you going?" The cool voice of her teacher said.

Courtney barely reacted, only moving to turn her head ever so slightly so that she might see the face of the teacher.

"You can't really stay here you know," he paused, swallowing hard. "I kinda have to lock the door and go too."

Courtney refrained from speaking, pressing her lips hard against each other so that she didn't scream. Besides, she didn't really want to talk to him about this, about anything at all really. She preferred to not say a word to anyone in this building. They didn't deserve her attention.

He sighed. "Look…I know this must be hard…going back to school after all you've been through. That's not even accounting for the event in and of itself."

She flinched slightly, otherwise keeping her same position.

"But you can't be this way. You have to function. Like…like it never happened." He himself cringed at the notion. He knew it was a ludicrous idea. No normal person could follow this advice really. It wasn't as easy as counting to three or reciting your abc's. They were talking about ignoring the strange looks and hurried whispers telling all of her suicide. "Like you didn't try to kill yourself."

She grit her teeth unnoticeably. She hated hearing her actions spoken aloud. It was one thing for her to do it, but another thing entirely to listen to him, or anyone else for that matter, talk about it.

He rubbed his neck nervously. "You can't let this ruin your life." He froze, realizing that something else had obviously been ruining her life to start with, considering it was bad enough for her to take her life. "I did it once," he admitted. "And the consequences haunted me for years. But I got through it, and so will you."

He placed a hand on her shoulder. She stared down at his hand, shivering involuntarily at the contact.

He nodded slowly, barely believing in his own words. "Believe that." He hated his hypocrisy as he took his hand back and let it fall to his side. "Now…go. You need to eat."

For a moment she continued to stay rooted to her place behind her desk. Only as the teacher turned to walk away did she finally regain control of her limbs. She slowly walked out of the room to the all too familiar lunchroom to meet her fate. And, like with most fates, she feared it greatly.

She froze momentarily when she reached the entrance, eyes widening at the large amount of students inhabiting the area. Why was it that she didn't remember such a large amount of people the last time she was here? Had her suicide made her forget? Or was she simply naïve?

"Courtney!" she heard a voice call to her. It was Bridgette, and she was waving.

Courtney looked lazily over to her, seeing a smile plastered across her face as she quickly approached. But it was a fake look of bliss. Courtney easily saw that deep down she was as uneasy and scared as anyone else. She was merely a better actor.

Bridgette grabbed on to her friends wrist as she drew within arm length. "Hey!" she cried, mouth twitching as she struggled to keep her smile. "Come on! I saved you a seat!" she then started dragging her.

Courtney really didn't want to go, but more so she didn't want to argue. In fact, she was perfectly content with not opening her mouth at all. For any questions asked, she'd either nod or shake her head. That or she would just not answer. She didn't care whether they liked it or not. She refused to talk to any one of them.

"See?" Bridgette chirped, turning her head back to see Courtney.

Courtney nodded slightly, eyes dull.

Bridgette seated her friend carefully, making sure not to use too much force in case it would set her off somehow.. "There are a few others over here, but…" she trailed off, catching Courtney's wide eyed look that held fear in every inch.

Courtney swallowed hard, seeing the smug smile resting on the face of her executioner.

It was her wretched boyfriend.

Of course. Of all people, _he_ would be sitting here. She was muter than before now. Not a word…not a one…maybe he'll go away…not see her.

Bridgette couldn't hold the false smile any longer. She frowned deeply. "Courtney? Are you okay?" She tilted her head to the side as she searched her friend's terrified expression.

Courtney remained silent as she stared into his eyes, his sinister eyes that she'd come to loathe so much in the past few months. And yet…she still loved them so.

Bridgette sat down beside her, staring intensely at her, trying her hardest to see into her heart and mind past the haze that guarded her thoughts, her inner most feelings, and her darkest secrets. "Courtney," she said again, tone more urgent. "Do you want to sit here?"

Courtney was determined not to speak, she couldn't let anything spill from her lips in case it might incriminate her or give him, or Bridgette even, something to use against her. She already had so much going on. So much that any person could snatch up and mock her with, whispering dark secrets in others' ears too. And luckily, she didn't have to be an ass about it.

Gwen stomped into the cafeteria, mouth set in a flat line and eyes burning. She saw Courtney at the nearest table and...him. Gwen started. Maybe Courtney would appreciate this more than Gwen thought.

"Get up!" She ordered, yanking Courtney up without giving her a chance to choose whether to comply or not. She didn't get a choice this time around. "Now move it!" She started to drag Courtney toward the exit.

Courtney whined lightly toward Bridgette, eyes saddening to a greater degree to emphasize the point. She wanted to be saved because the next conversation would quite possibly be worse than being so close to her boyfriend.

Bridgette made a face, tentatively raising up to follow the pair. "Gwen," she murmured with confusion. "What are you-"

"Bridgette!" She growled harshly.

Bridgette jumped, freezing in her tracks, eyes wide.

Gwen frowned, sighing softly. "Look…this is between me and her. I'm not gonna do anything to her, you know that. I just have to talk to her alone for a minute." She paused, taking a tighter grip on Courtney's wrist as she tried to pull away back to Bridgette and the safety of her cheery demeanor. ""We'll be right back," she added after a moment, offering a fake half smile.

Bridgette saw the sincerity in her words, but she also sensed the lie in her expression. She narrowed her eyes a bit, a rare occurrence for one so happy and carefree. Still, she did not object. She trusted Gwen, maybe even more than she trusted Courtney. And besides, Gwen and Courtney had become unusually close earlier on. She didn't know why, but neither wanted the other to hurt. So she let them go, shrugging slightly as she reseated herself.

Courtney whimpered miserably, gaze stuck on Bridgette and her slowly disappearing figure until she was finally dragged right around the corner and was fully alone with her friend.

Gwen pushed Courtney a bit harshly back against the lockers, her false look of cheer vanishing in an instant to be replaced by one of ferocity and annoyance. "What is wrong with you?" Venom seeped from Gwen's words.

Courtney started despite the fact she knew exactly what this was going to be about all along. There was no other reason Gwen would want to talk alone with her. Anything else besides this would be easily discussable in the presence of others. But not this, this one sensitive subject.

"Courtney!" She said sharply. "Don't act like you can't hear me."

Courtney lowered her eyes and her head in unison, not liking Gwen's aggressive nature. And as such she continued to remain silent. She'd told herself she wouldn't talk to anyone here, not even someone so close to her as Gwen. So she merely shook her head in the negative, the action not really making sense as a response.

"No?" she said incredulously. "No what?"

Courtney shrugged, lips pressed tightly together.

Gwen sighed irritably. "Stop it!" she snapped. "Stop acting like what you did has made you mute or something ridiculous like that." Gwen shook her head. "It's stupid and pointless. I know you can talk."

Courtney shook her head unconvincingly, frowning deeply.

Gwen emitted a low growl. "Don't give me that! You didn't cut your throat! You overdosed! Nothing more and nothing less."

Courtney cringed, hating the mention of what she did. Although this reaction wasn't because she regretted the act in and of itself. It was simply that she hated still being alive. She miscalculated Duncan coming by, Gwen having asked him to.

Gwen took a deep breath, loosening her grip on Courtney's arms ever so slightly.

Courtney eyed Gwen's loosened hands carefully. She thought of running back to the cafeteria in a blink of an eye and leaving Gwen standing. This was what she wanted, to escape this scene. Confrontation was the last thing that she needed right now in her weak state of mind.

"And you hurt a lot of people." Gwen said in a softer tone, lowering her gaze to the ground like Courtney. "You hurt me…"

Courtney grimaced. She knew this was what would be the ultimate outcome of this. Gwen was reminding her that she couldn't do this ever again because it wouldn't be fair.

Gwen stifled a whine, preparing herself to say what she wished she didn't have to. "You shouldn't be so selfish!" She snapped, jerking her gaze back up towards Courtney. "Just because you were ready to end it all doesn't mean I was!" Despite her angry front, her voice wavered noticeably from the terror of what her friend had intended to do.

Courtney tucked her head down some like a turtle would have when faced with imminent danger.

Gwen let go of Courtney completely to turn away from her and hide her slowly breaking mask on her face from Courtney. "I know things aren't picture perfect for you! But they aren't for me either!" Her voice grew sharp as she went on. "That's why we have each other! Don't you get that!" She swirled and threw her hands in the air from exasperation before clutching her aching head tenderly.

Courtney swallowed hard, knowing that she was more right than ever. This mess of their lives was why they leaned on each other as they did. It was akin to fate itself.

"We **promised**. Have you so easily forgotten?" Gwen swirled about. "Huh?"

Courtney barely shook her head enough for Gwen to see, still refusing to open her mouth.

Gwen shook her head, still holding her head. "Then **why** did you do it?" She asked the forbidden question. "Why didn't you ask me for help?" Her lip trembled as she paused for an instant. "You know I would have been there in the blink of an eye to get you through this…whatever it is."

Courtney shook her head in the negative, speaking without even meaning to. "You don't understand. It's not that simple," she said weakly.

Gwen's eyes widened as she spoke, but she tried her best to hide her surprise. "Then you should have at least thought what your death would have done to me," she said bitterly.

Courtney lifted her gaze to meet Gwen's with hesitation. "I did, but…" She paused. "…it wasn't enough."

Gwen had the air knocked clean out of her by this revelation. She clutched at her stomach, gasping for air. "W-What…?" She managed through it all.

Courtney kept her gaze on Gwen despite how much it made her ache on the inside. This was why she hadn't wanted to open her big fat mouth. She knew she'd say something she'd soon regret. "Sorry…" She murmured. "...but I had to do it…"

Gwen was regaining control of her breathing now. "Then at least tell me what it was," she breathed sadly.

"No!" She spoke louder then she had all day, the fear controlling her. "I can't," she insisted. "Just like you can't." She used Gwen's secret as ammo.

Gwen growled lightly, knowing that there was no way around this hurdle. The only way was to spill the beans about her own troubles, and she simply wasn't ready for that.

"Fine," she sighed, defeated. "You don't have to tell me then." She turned away from her to rub at her eyes without Courtney seeing. "Just promise me one thing," she insisted.

Courtney thought hard about this. She wasn't sure if this was a trap to get her to have to tell her story, but she was pretty convinced this was the case. Still, she found herself agreeing. "Okay…"

Gwen smiled faintly. "Promise me you won't be so stupid again, not as long as I live." It was an eerie way of wording it, but it made all the sense in the world since in a way, it was meant to be eerie. "You won't **dare** try ending your own life. Kill whoever is doing this if you will." She turned to face her again, expression hard set. "But no suicide."

Courtney swallowed hard. In all honesty, she had thought of trying again soon, maybe even after this day was done before he could find her, but she had pretty much agreed to promise her this, this one thing. "I…" She trailed off, twiddling her thumbs uneasily.

Gwen looked intensely at her, daring her to go against her.

Courtney sighed. "Yes." A pause. "I won't do it."

Gwen raised a brow. "Won't do what?" she pressed. Wanting to hear it straight from her lips.

Courtney glared at Gwen. "I won't kill myself!" She exploded, drawing the attention of a passing couple who both looked warily at the girls before scurrying off.

Gwen smiled the easiest she had all day. This truly pleased her. "Good." She laid a hand on her friends shoulder. "Now let's go back then."

Courtney didn't respond to any of this, merely kept her eyes glued to the path ahead of her.

Gwen moved her hand to Courtney's wrist so that she could drag her along in case she became planted to the spot like she had in the cafeteria.

Courtney cringed at the touch despite the fact it was obviously Gwen. She just didn't like being touched after emotional moments such as this. In fact, despite how strong she had appeared through the whole conversation, she was really at the brink of a breakdown. The way Gwen had spoken to her had rattled her to the core. She only wished she could escape and cry her heart out.

Gwen sensed Courtney's discomfort as they walked and decided to let her do as she wished. "Fine," she sighed. "You can go if you want, but don't think I'll come looking for you." A pause. "Not this time."

Courtney smiled wanly, tears glazing over her eyes. She nodded firmly, turning on her heel with great speed in order to flee to the bathroom.

The instant she burst through the entrance she fell down to her knees and crumpled in on herself. Sobs racked her body, tears running like a river down her dark skinned face, and her choked whines worked their way out of her throat, but it did make her feel better. It really did.

Gwen watched her go for a moment before turning back towards the cafeteria and heading in.

Bridgette's eyes immediately flew to the entrance upon hearing someone enter. She wanted to see that Courtney came back in a good mood, or at least better than what she had been.

When she saw only Gwen her face fell. "...Where's Courtney...?" she asked in unease as Gwen grew nearer.

Gwen put on a smile. "She just forgot something in her locker." A pause. "She'll be back in a minute..." She looked back over her shoulder then, wondering if this were really true or if Courtney would remain in hiding all of lunch. She rather believed that this was the more likely of the two, despite the fact she would prefer the former.

Bridgette frowned lightly. "Okay." She patted the seat next to her. "Then sit. It's been forever since we talked."

Gwen smiled a half smile, doing as she said. "Sure."

**So, how was it? I hope you enjoyed it. :) And yes, the boyfriend remains unnamed. This is for a couple of reasons. One, I want it to stay a secret for a while and, two, I am not entirely sure who I want it to be. x.x It'd be nice if I could get some suggestions. Just know that it can't be Duncan or Trent. Anyway, please review! :D**


	5. Fix You

**Here's the next part. Hope you enjoy! :)**

Immediately after school that day Courtney was escorted to her first therapy session, a requirement for her to be let out of the surveillance of the hospital. Courtney had been dreading it all day long and after her breakdown she didn't want to go even more than before. Still, her mother made her. After all, what was worse? Enduring a couple days a week of this or going back to the hospital?

If only her mother knew that the latter was more favorable for Courtney.

Her mother was just as jittery about this as she had been about school. Her hands shook intensely as she held on to the wheel, watching her baby exit the car in the same manner as before. "Honey!" she called as her daughter reached the door to the prison. "Just-" she stopped, rethinking her words. "Cooperate!"

Courtney looked back over her shoulder at her mother, rolling her eyes at her like any other teenager would have. The only problem was that this mother's worries, unlike most, were well placed. Her daughter had been planning to screw with the therapist all along for the lol's and because she knew nothing this person would say could make her feel any better.

Nevertheless she found herself being carried by her feet in to the foreign building made for those who weren't quite right.

She wasn't quite sure what she'd been expecting, a room full of wackos waiting to be seen, a full white backdrop, or a frenzy of employees who looked half dead from the work they did with people and their insecurities. But whatever she thought would be there most certainly wasn't. The place was strangely at peace, only one other person present in the room, the walls were a neutral color of beige, not plain, and there was zero percent sign of any past struggles. This place was certainly no mental institute.

"Hello." the woman behind the desk said cheerfully. "You must be Courtney."

Courtney cringed at how happy she was able to sound. Shouldn't there be a rule against being happier than the people you were seeing? These people were depressed after all. Still, Courtney managed a tiny wave with extreme lackluster, walking unsurely over to the desk.

The woman kept her look of cheer. "Now if you'd just sit down and wait for a minute you'll be seen shortly." she instructed, pointing over to a row of chairs set against the wall.

Courtney frowned, wondering who else's life was miserable enough for them to end up here, doing the same routine as herself. Who else in this town was suicidal? As she pondered this she made her way to a seat, settling down to wait for whatever amount of time was necessary.

About five minutes later another woman appeared at the door set to the right of the desk, a content look present on her face. Courtney had to wonder what she might have accomplished in the last few minutes that would cause any amount of happiness. Then again, it was suicidal people they were talking about here. Just keeping them from killing themselves was an accomplishment in and of itself.

"Courtney?" she chirped with a soft smile.

Courtney kept her frown, raising up to stand and then walk over to her.

"Come on in." she said in that false sweet voice that was common when talking to those one thought to be unwell. It was a voice that Courtney no longer appreciated too. She heard it all too much over the past little bit of her life. She just wanted it to disappear from the face of the earth. **That** would make her smile.

Courtney stepped through the door as the lady stepped aside, eyes widening as a plain old room was revealed to her senses. There were no foreign gadgets present like when she'd been supervised at the hospital. It was as ordinary as her own room.

The back wall was covered by a row of bookshelves littered with all kinds of books, the right wall had a brown armchair pressed against it, facing another chair on the opposite side of the room. Although, upon a second look, Courtney saw that it was more like a couch than a chair. A brown couch. The walls were, in great contrast, bright yellow, purple flowers painted as an add-on, and the floor was carpeted in a likewise fashion.

Courtney made a face at the place. It was so strange.

"Not what you expected, huh?" the lady said amusedly, shutting the door behind her before heading over to the armchair and settling in with a soft sigh.

Courtney didn't respond nor did she move.

"I get that a lot." she chuckled. "My place isn't exactly the norm for therapy sessions." she moved her gaze away from Courtney to look at the ceiling. "But why should it be? When people are depressed why in the world would they want to have murky colors around?" she crossed her arms. "So I made my space unique."

Courtney really didn't care why this was such a strange out there room, all she wanted to know was how this person could do anything for her. Anything else was useless info.

"But I'm rambling." she chortled, leaning back. "This is about you, not the decor." a pause. "So why don't you sit down?"

Courtney frowned deeply, not moving for a minute out of pure stubbornness. Only when she saw that this woman was unfazed by her resistance did she give up and dawdle over to the couch where many before her had occupied.

The woman folded her hands together. "Alright then." she smiled. "What do you want to talk about?" she said without care to the answer.

Courtney stared blankly at her, blinking twice as if it would disperse the illusion. "...Huh?" she finally uttered a word. Why on earth would she want to know random stories from her? Wasn't there some sort of method that all therapists used to cure their patients? Or was this really it?

This got a laugh from the woman. "You were expecting something more?"

Courtney nodded slowly. "Uh-huh."

Her smile widened. "Afraid there's nothing special up my sleeve. No magic or draught to 'fix' you." she paused to stretch. "All we do is talk. If you want to you'll tell me about what's up. But you don't have to."

Courtney's eyes widened greatly, a smile slipping past her once confused expression. "Really?"

She nodded. "Sure." a pause. "The best I, or anyone else, can hope for is that just having someone to talk to will make things better for you."

Courtney frowned again. "But...what if it doesn't...?" she asked tentatively.

The woman flinched slightly, but for the most part she kept her cool and content demeanor. "Then it doesn't." she shrugged. "I mean, it is my job to prevent it, but after a certain point it's not up to me what happens. What you do is in your hands."

Courtney scrunched her face up. She found this a little hard to believe. True this person cared not what happened to her, but still...what about those who did? What about her mom, Gwen, or Bridgette? If they realized she killed herself later on because her shrink didn't do anything to stop it they would be devastated.

The woman saw that Courtney was not convinced. "I really will try to help, honest. But there's only so much I can do." she frowned then. "I'm no miracle worker...just your friendly therapist." she chuckled with a more sad feel than was intended.

Courtney shrugged. "Whatever." a pause. "It's not that I want to be here-or alive for that matter. I just don't want to hurt people." she lowered her head slightly, all to familiar guilt sweeping over her.

This made the woman lower her gaze, but no more. What would have terrified ordinary people to hear was an every day thing to her. She'd heard it a million times before and would likely hear it millions of times after. It was what next to all suicidal people thought. If not for the relationships they held in the world they would not have a prayer of living. It's what bound them. "I know."

Courtney was astounded by her calm nature toward what Courtney had just told her. She couldn't imagine staying calm if someone told her this. Then again, she wasn't faced with this every day of her life. All she had to face was her own stupidity and lack of judgement which led her to where she was now.

"So, what else do you want to say? You can say whatever." she reminded.

Courtney shrugged, averting her eyes. "I dunno." she muttered. "I guess about my mom and Gwen."

She cocked her head. "Who's Gwen?"

Courtney's frown deepened. "My friend." a pause. "My best friend."

She nodded. "Why is she your friend?"

"Just cause." Courtney shrugged. "Why is anyone anyone else's friend?" she countered softly.

"Hmm." she murmured. "I don't know."

Courtney knew she was prompting her to give her the reason she figured to be adequate and as such did so. Besides, this was nice. Being able to just talk about things that, in her opinion, made no difference was refreshing. It was not at all like the prison of the hospital where it was a constant cycle of orders, no time for peaceful conversations, not when you were insane. "Well...she's kind."

The woman nodded, smiling faintly.

"She's very considerate of me and my problems, she usually won't press issues that are delicate, and more so she knows what is 'delicate'." she made quotation marks with her fingers. "She even goes out of her way to tiptoe around these things, even though she doesn't think I know this. She is just a good person."

"You're lucky." she said brightly. "Good people are hard to find these days."

Courtney smiled slightly. She was somehow pleased at hearing that she had had any amount of luck. Maybe this therapy stuff wasn't some hoax. "I wouldn't say so." she murmured, not willing to express what little pleasure she possessed out loud.

The woman kept her content expression, Courtney's bitterness affecting her little. "No. You wouldn't." a pause. "But that doesn't mean it isn't true." she assured Courtney.

Courtney snorted. "Maybe..." she trailed off.

The woman sensed they'd hit a dead end in the conversation and started something up again. "Do you think tiptoeing around your problems annoys her?"

Courtney thought deeply on this. There were so many plausible answers. "Sure. She'd have to have never ending patience to not be a little upset by it. But she never says it irritates her, that's part of what makes her so great." Courtney smiled a bit wider, thoughts of Gwen pleasing her.

"You just let her do it then?" she pondered, sincerely wondering.

Courtney blinked twice, smile slipping slightly. "I'm sorry?"

"You see that she doesn't love doing as she does, yet you still let her?"

Courtney swallowed hard. "Well...yeah." she hesitated, rubbing the back of her neck. "But even if I were to say something she wouldn't listen. It's how she is."

"Hmm." she looked back to the ceiling. "Interesting friend."

Courtney didn't like the woman's tone one bit. Sure it was better than that false happy voice she tried to do at the start, but just barely. "What's that supposed to mean?" she growled.

The woman looked back to Courtney, shrugging. "Just that from personal experience a friend who doesn't complain about her lot in life doesn't necessarily like it. She merely does it because her friend needs her too."

Courtney bristled. "Personal experience!" she snapped. "What? From all those depressed people you see! Huh?"

The woman showed the first signs of anger, teeth bared and eyes narrowed slightly. "No." she hissed. "Not even close."

Courtney snorted. "What other experiences are there?"

"How about my own life!" she barked. "I **was** your age once!"

"Were you suicidal then?" Courtney laughed. "Did going through all hell bring you out on the other side of the tunnel as a new enlightened person or some shit? After that you **knew** your lot in life was to help people!" she found the very notion to be ridiculous.

"NO!" she said harshly. "I know because my best friend was suicidal!"

Courtney started, fire suddenly drawn out of her with this one sharp blow.

The woman sighed deeply, holding her head in her hand as she shut her eyes tight. "I was about your age when she tried it. She went for the bullet to her brain. The only thing was she was so afraid of it hurting that she was shaking like crazy and completely missed the target." she let out a heavy breath. "Her parents heard the shot and raced to see what was wrong. Not long after she was admitted to the hospital."

Courtney listened intently to her tale, not at all intending to interrupt.

The woman really didn't want to go on, it still hurt to think about even to this day. However this seemed to hold the girls attention rather well and she had to admit that this would definitely give a new light to Courtney and her friends relationship. "I found out not long after when word started to spread like wildfire." she paused, being sure to keep her emotions in check. "I wanted to know what had possessed her, but she never would tell me. It was really hard too, not knowing what would set her off."

Courtney cringed. It sounded just like them.

"After a while though I learned the ropes and stayed away from the topics that were draped with caution signs, no matter how hard it was, no matter how much I had to go out of my way, no matter what." she tensed greatly. "It was especially important to make her believe it was nothing big even when deep down I hated every waking moment of it. It was a chore which I was never completely done with, an ever going struggle." a pause. "But I did it anyway. I did it because it was better than the alternative. I didn't want to lose her."

Courtney didn't quite know how she was supposed to react to all this. She got that the point behind all this was to show her that no matter what Gwen said she was probably feeling completely different. But...what else? Was this woman looking for sympathy? "So..." she started uncertainly. "What happened...?"

This made the woman cringe, a shiver running down her spine. "It didn't matter." she said bitterly. "Despite all I did it made no difference. A year later, our senior year, she successfully ended her life." her mouth twitched unnaturally, tears lacing her eyes. "I'll never forget that day, not until the day I die."

Courtney lowered her eyes to the ground, fidgeting slightly from discomfort. "I'm-I...sorry..." she whispered near inaudibly. She felt downright rotten for bringing this to the surface, especially considering the way she'd done it. She was nothing short of a brat.

The woman shook her head. "It's nothing." she assured. "Besides, I don't need your sympathies. It was too long ago for that." she chuckled falsely, mouth turning into a deep frown, eyes void of their previous warmth.

Courtney decided to take a different approach now. "Well...I get your point I guess." she admitted painfully, not liking to think of Gwen hating every moment around her even if it was better than the alternative. "I just hate to believe it."

"I know." she muttered softly, some of her sadness beginning to ebb. "But that's life for you."

"Ain't that the truth." Courtney grumbled, sighing heavily.

The woman glanced up at the clock above Courtney's head. They didn't have much time left. "Not that I deserve an answer, but...does Gwen know your problem?"

Courtney sucked in a sharp breath. "No!" she shrieked, shaking her head back and forth furtively.

"I figured." a pause. "It's pretty common for suicidal people to admit they have problems but not say what." she sighed. "Sadly that makes it pretty hard for others to help." she grit her teeth. "It's why a lot end up like my friend. Dead."

Courtney scowled. "It's because no one can help us, not completely at least." she averted her gaze, not wishing to see what the woman thought of this. "They'd only make it worse. Then what? We don't need unnecessary pain."

The woman raised a brow in interest. She always found this bit of her conversations with people interesting. There were no constant answers, peoples opinions varied greatly. Only certain things were similar. She wondered whether this would hold true for the girl before her.

"Besides, getting others involved not only hurts us, but them too. No one wants to hear that their kid wants to end it all, to die right where they stand. We all know that. So we tell one person that we know won't squeal and they try their best to ease the pain in both our hearts. Or at least we let them know we are miserable. That's all they need to know. Anything else is unnecessary and drags them further into our dark world."

"Hmm..." she murmured thoughtfully. "I see." she was falling back into her calm mood.

"It's the way it has to be." Courtney grumbled, looking back at the woman before her.

"But it's not." she insisted. "As much as it would hurt to know that someone is planning on killing themselves that pain is nothing compared to actually losing that person. You might not believe it, but those who care about you would do anything to preserve your life and innocence."

Courtney snorted, resting her head in her hand. "It's too late for that one." she growled. "My innocence was destroyed months ago. And no one could have stopped it. Only he knew it was going to happen, and he didn't want anyone to find out." she spat, bitterness seeping from her words as well as sadness.

The woman saw that their time was up now, but she wanted to see where this would lead Courtney. She was awfully close to saying something important. "He? He who?"

Courtney emitted a low growl. "My boyfriend." she immediately snapped to attention then. "But you can't tell anyone!"

The woman smiled wanly. "Of course not. Nothing you say leaves this room."

Courtney breathed a sigh of relief. "Really? That's awesome." she then slipped back into defense mode. "But don't think that means I'll tell you anything!" she warned.

The woman shrugged. "Ok." she cared to an extent, but not enough to force her to spit anything out. "It's up to you what I know."

Courtney nodded with uncertainty, still not trusting this person as much as she was sure she was supposed to. Only Gwen got that much trust. Not even mother could compare with Gwen. She wasn't entirely sure why this was so, all she knew was that it was the way things were. "Cool." she mumbled, standing.

The woman raised a brow. "Going somewhere?"

"My times up." she shrugged. "And as enlightening this has all been I don't much care for staying. Besides, mom'll be worried sick if I'm not out their on the dot." she rolled her eyes. "She'll probably think I killed myself or something." she half joked, knowing that saying such to anyone else would warrant immediate attention, and not the good kind.

The lady snorted lightly. "It's natural, especially for parents."

Courtney shook her head, crossing her arms across her chest. "Gwen doesn't do it." she informed. "She just let me go despite the danger."

The woman frowned. "Without a word?" she sounded perplexed.

Courtney sighed. "No. She went on for a while before hand, but still! Mom wouldn't have even considered letting me leave her sight afterward. What Gwen did was so selfless and I appreciated it to no end after all the unwanted guarding I had going on with everyone else."

The woman smiled. "I should imagine so." she hesitated, picking up quickly. "Now go." she half ordered. "Unless you want to say anything else."

Courtney snorted. "No thanks. Maybe some other time." she hopped over to the door, freezing with her hand on the knob as the therapists voice reached her.

"Wait!" she cried, jumping up and walking slowly to her. "Take that door." she nodded toward the door that Courtney had missed when she first scanned the room.

"Why?" Courtney said slowly.

"In case someone else is out there waiting." she chuckled nervously. "I mean...for you it wouldn't matter so much since everyone already knows, but still...it's an option." a pause. "And whoever is out there now could be from out of town. They might not know you."

Realization dawned on Courtney. "Oh!" she squeaked. "Ok." she walked over to where she was directed, taking a hold of the knob and turning it quickly. "And..." she trailed off, searching for a word to complete her thought. In the end she decided on a word which she rarely ever used in sincerity. It was logged away for deceit and being a suck-up. "...thanks..." Courtney whispered, shutting the door in a hurry to leave the establishment.

Just as Courtney expected her mother was a nervous wreck when she reached her. She was pacing back and forth outside her car murmuring words that were inaudible to all others present. What was worse was that her mother looked like she had gotten into a fight with a porcupine or some strange creature for her face was a nearly foreign being to Courtney's eyes.

"Mom...?" Courtney muttered carefully.

Her mother jumped, looking as if she might lash out until she realized who was speaking. "Oh! Honey...it's you."

"Yeah." Courtney sighed. "Look, mom...I'm sorry."

Her mother cocked her head.

"I hate that you're a wreck because of me."

Her mother started. "Oh, no! I'm fine! Really!" she lied through her teeth, flashing an equally fake smile.

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Ok mom. Let's go home then." so much for apologizing and making people feel better. Not that she tried very hard. She supposed she merely wanted to be able to go back to the therapist and say 'I at least **tried**'. So her acts weren't quite noble. But whatever. And, despite the guilt that flooded her when thinking of the pain she caused others, she didn't much care about 'making amends', as the therapist might call it. She was only sorry she didn't finish what she started. Did that make her a bad person? She sure hoped not.

**I don't know about this one. I've never done therapy or anything so this whole scenario could be completely off base. So, if it is, don't lecture me on the fact. Cause I don't want to hear it. Things on ooc of Courtney are fine, but no saying my therapy scenario sucks! :( But I suppose constructive criticism on it is ok. Anyway, review please! :D**


	6. Pain

**Here's the next part! I hope you enjoy! :D**

It was a few days later before Gwen had a real conversation with Courtney again. Sure she sat beside her at lunch and the few classes they shared, but it didn't count. To top it all off Courtney only gave Gwen short answers to anything she said. Courtney never did contribute to the conversation. So this was Gwen's chance to see how she was really doing.

She had Duncan drop her off there right after school like he usually did for her at her own house. They exchanged a hurried goodbye and a hug or two before she went off toward her strange friend's house. Upon reaching it she didn't bother knocking like everyone else would have, she was always welcome.

The house was just the same as it ever was, the only difference being the foreboding chill in the air. It felt akin to death itself. Still Gwen was bent on ignoring this alteration in order to find and check up on Courtney.

"Oh!" Gwen heard from her left. "Gwen!"

Gwen jumped slightly; turning about to see the face of Courtney's all too familiar mother. She wore a bright smile on her face, her eyes glimmering with what might have appeared to be happiness to most, but what was really a thin layer of tears. "Hey Mrs. Martin." Gwen waved.

"It's so good to see you dear." She sighed. "It's been…different lately." She muttered sadly, perking instantly after. "But it's all right!" she insisted.

Gwen frowned. "I'm here to see Courtney." She muttered lamely, rubbing her neck nervously. "I wanted to see how she was doing, you know…look for improvement or something."

Her mother flinched at Gwen's words, unable to hide how much these words stung. "Of course." She said with a furtive nod. "She's right upstairs." She informed, nodding in the general direction.

"Thanks." Gwen muttered in appreciation, scurrying off up the stairs to meet Courtney.

"Gwen!" her mother called after her.

Gwen perked, turning enough to see Courtney's mother again.

"When you come back down…I need to talk to you about something." She said softly, head lowered some in sadness.

Gwen stared at her a moment in confusion before she simply nodded slightly and went to leave to find Courtney once more.

Gwen found her just where she knew she'd be. Courtney was sprawled out on her bed, looking uninterestedly up at the patterned ceiling. She was still as stone, her eyes dull and void of any real life, more so than usual.

"Courtney?" Gwen whispered tentatively, slowly pushing the door open all the way.

Courtney didn't move a muscle. The only change in her was that her eyes flickered over to Gwen for a moment, taking in her friend's sullen appearance akin to her own.

Gwen remained where she was for another minute, hoping that Courtney might open her mouth and invite her in. Of course this never happened and Gwen eventually let herself in, strolling over to the bed to sit down next to her friend. "How are you?" she asked casually.

Courtney didn't respond. She kept her eyes glued to the ceiling.

Gwen smiled nervously. "It's a nice day, huh?"

Courtney shrugged.

Gwen sighed heavily. "Not a cloud in the sky today. It's the perfect day to be outside." Gwen looked over to Courtney to see what she thought about this from her expression, only able to find slight irritation and a boatload of misery.

"Not really." Courtney grumbled. "It's the same as any other day on earth."

Gwen cringed slightly; not liking the meaning that Courtney was hinting at behind what would have been every day words to most. "Don't you want to enjoy it though?"

Courtney snorted, rolling away from Gwen. "I don't know about me, but you sure seem to want to."

Gwen growled lightly. At least she was talking she supposed. "How about we play a little game then?" she said perkily, jumping up off the bed in a hurry. "Hm?"

Courtney looked out of the corner of her eye at who she couldn't believe was the same Gwen she'd seen come in to her room.

Gwen forced a smile. "Come on." She paused. "Just for a little bit." She watched Courtney expectantly, hoping beyond reason that she would agree.

Courtney looked back a Gwen with severe uncertainty. She didn't want to play. She didn't want to do anything really. She wanted to simply be left to her thoughts. Not that those were very inviting. Still, it was better than risking an encounter. "Ok..." she grumbled.

Gwen strained to hear her. "What?"

Courtney shook her head, saying louder this time, "One condition." she sighed irritably, rolling over so that she was sitting and her feet dangled over the edge of the bed, swaying gently. "We don't leave this room."

Gwen sighed, deflated. "I suppose that'll work." She shrugged, trying her best not to show her disappointment. "But what do you want to do?"

A slight smile twitched at the edge of Courtney's mouth. "Something my little cousin loved to do when she came."

Gwen raised a brow. "Yeah?"

"Just some arts and crafts." She shrugged, pushing herself up off the bed onto her feet to walk slowly, almost mechanically, to her closet. She pulled the doors open, going on tiptoes in order to reach the top shelf. After a minute of searching she pulled down a decent sized box full of all sorts of things.

Gwen did not move to aid her friend, merely watched as she did as she pleased.

"Here." Courtney said softly, setting the box down on the bed. "It has tons of stuff in it: colored pencils, markers, glitter, glue, old drawings, and other things."

Gwen nodded; reseating herself on the bed as she figured Courtney wanted her to.

"So do whatever." Courtney muttered, opening the box and withdrawing some of its contents before settling down opposite of Gwen. She then began to sketch a picture.

Gwen followed suite, grabbing some paper of her own. However she didn't intend on doing much with it. She was far more interested in watching what she would create.

Courtney quickly drew a perfect image of herself in a dark room. It was incredibly well done and eerie. Besides herself there was nothing but a pair of sinister eyes behind her.

Gwen cringed as the picture came closer to being finished and in the end she could not bear to keep watching. She decided she'd put something on her paper no matter how crappy it looked so that when Courtney was done she would have something from Gwen.

By the time Courtney put on the finishing touches she was shuddering ever so slightly, a fear trapped in her eyes as she stared at her creation. "So…" she started, swallowing hard. "What do you have?" she finished as she crumpled up the piece of paper.

Gwen's eyes widened as she watched Courtney destroy her picture. "W-What are you doing?"

"Destroying a piece of crap." She said simply.

Gwen was perplexed by this. "Crap? That?" she laughed. "Courtney, that was…beautiful." She found no other way to say it, at least not one that wouldn't upset Courtney. To say the picture was haunting would have been perfect, but this descriptive word stung even Gwen.

Courtney snorted, rolling her eyes. "No." she tossed the crumpled paper into the wastebasket. "It's crap."

Gwen opened her mouth to protest, catching Courtney's now depressed look and stopping herself. "Here." Gwen said sheepishly, handing over her work.

Courtney took it, struggling not to burst out laughing as she scanned it. "It's…" she started, snorting loudly before regaining her composure. "It's good."

Gwen chuckled, snatching her picture back. "Liar." She growled playfully, hitting Courtney gently.

Courtney shrugged, smiling brightly. "Maybe. Maybe not." She teased. "I guess you'll never know."

Gwen shook her head. "Yeah, I think I do know."

Courtney went to say something, the incessant sound of her phone interrupting.

Courtney froze instantly. She knew instinctively who it would be before she even looked. It was only made concrete when she reluctantly pulled her phone from her pocket and checked the caller i.d. Despite the lack of surprise it still managed to rattle her to the very core.

Gwen perked, looking up in to Courtney suddenly drained face with concern. "Courtney, you ok?"

Courtney didn't respond, staring blankly forward as if Gwen were invisible. She knew what the text said, it was always the same, and as such she did as she was expected. She rose up off the bed, eyes dull as a butter knife.

Gwen furrowed her brow, frowning deeply. "Courtney?"

Courtney turned her head toward Gwen, staring straight through her like before. Only this time she spoke. "I have to go." She paused. "And so should you."

"What?" Gwen said blankly, confused as to Courtney's sudden change in demeanor. She had been happy mere moments before. "Courtney, what's wrong?" she asked tentatively, figuring that it must be her wretched boyfriend.

"Nothing." Courtney said faintly as she took her eyes away from Gwen and headed for her bedroom door.

Gwen stared after her a moment in confusion before snapping out of it and jumping to her feet after Courtney. "Courtney!" she cried, positioning herself between Courtney and the door. "Come on. At least give me a hint as to what is up." Gwen knew whatever it was was the same thing it had been before the suicide. It was not new. This look in her eyes, Gwen had seen it so many times before.

Courtney wasn't bothered by Gwen blocking her path, she was too zoned out. All that she was capable of registering was Gwen's words, which she shook her head in response to.

Gwen sighed heavily, slumping over. "Courtney...you're not alone..." she whispered. "Whatever you have to face, we can do it together. At least...it's an option." with that Gwen reluctantly stepped aside, ready to follow Courtney from her house and head back to her own.

Courtney didn't respond to her words, walking mechanically from her room, down the stairs, and out the door without the slightest bit of attention paid to her mother. And there she waited, out on the curb, until her boyfriend came to get her.

Gwen watched the floor intently for so long she couldn't recall how long she hadn't moved. But eventually she found feeling in her muscles again and wandered down the stairs to find Courtney's mother.

Gwen found her standing just as motionlessly as she herself had been before, staring blankly toward the door.

"Mrs. Martin?" Gwen said tentatively, stepping into her view.

Courtney's mother was quick to perk. "Oh! Oh...Gwen." She smiled faintly. "I almost forgot you were here."

Gwen grimaced. "Yeah..." she trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck. "...I was just going." A pause. "But wasn't there something you wanted to ask me?" Gwen remembered, intrigued.

"Oh, yes. Of course." She nodded. "Well, you see." she sighed with immense discomfort. "Courtney...she's a mess, and even though she's always been so independent...I just can't help but want to keep a constant eye on her."

Gwen lowered her gaze to the ground. "I know what you mean." She admitted.

"And I thought about for a long while...and I figured, who better to entrust my precious daughter to than her best friend."

What this entailed sunk in for Gwen in a moments time. Her eyes shot open and mouth fell agape. "Wait-what?" she spluttered. "Me?"

Courtney's mother forced a grim smile, nodding. "Yes, you." A pause. "You've been around a lot in the past few months and I've grown to trust you." She admitted to both Gwen and herself. Much like her daughter, she trusted few anymore. "If anyone is going to make sure she stays safe that isn't me then I'd want it to be you."

Gwen didn't quite know what to say it this. Naturally she wouldn't refuse. How could she? But still, she didn't know what this woman saw in her. For how was she to take care of another when she could scarcely take care of herself? She did not know. "I...I don't know what to say..."

Her face fell. "I mean, you don't have to. That is-I don't expect you to take on such a large task unexpectedly." In all honesty she really had. She couldn't say that though.

Gwen sighed. "Don't worry." she smiled. "I'll do it." She said with confidence, eyes shining. "I care about Courtney just as much as you and want to see her safe just as badly. i wouldn't have it any other way." She nodded firmly. She would be Courtney's personal guardian angel. It was a fact.

Courtney's mother made a soft sound of pleasure, wiping at her eyes. "Thank you." she whispered near inaudibly.

Gwen nodded faintly, looking away quickly to avoid seeing the woman's tears. She hated when people cried, especially those who she valued. "It's nothing." she muttered after a moment, turning to go. "And...please don't worry." she half begged.

She snorted. "That's asking the impossible. I'm her mother." she sighed, shrugging. "It's what I do."

Gwen sensed that it was a joke of the sorts, a tortured one, but one nonetheless, and as such smiled faintly. "I know." and then she left, letting the door fall shut with a loud bang that made the both of them cringe.

Walking down the driveway she automatically reached for the cell in her pocket, hitting the redial button as if it were instinct before lifting the phone to her ear and waiting patiently for his cool voice.

It rang a couple of times in his pocket before he bothered searching for it. Upon seeing the caller i.d. he scrambled to answer before it went to voice mail. "Gwen! Gwen, are you there?"

Gwen chuckled lightly. "Yes, Duncan. Despite your efforts to try and not answer for as long as possible, I am still here."

Duncan rolled his eyes, snorting. "I didn't know it was you." he tried to explain. "You usually don't call at this time."

Gwen shook her head. "I know it's sort of early, but I need you to come and get me."

Duncan frowned. "Already?" he smiled. "I figured this was gonna be another one of your calls telling me to remember something." he laughed at his small joke, stopping quickly when he realized she didn't see the humor in it. "So what happened?" he was concerned now.

Gwen sighed. "Nothing. We sat around and drew some stuff like a bunch of five year olds, but that's it." she hesitated in going on, not sure if Courtney wanted to have so much told. "And then-"

"Than why-" he stopped, realizing he'd unintentionally cut her off. "Oh! Sorry. What were you gonna say?" he inquired.

Gwen grew silent again for a time, only opening her mouth when Duncan tried to pry into her own life. She too had secrets to hide, just like Courtney. "Her phone rang and she had to leave. I didn't feel right staying without her so I left and called you."

Duncan knew there was something more to this tale, but he didn't want to prod. She was intentioonally trying to hide whatever it was from him anyway. So why make her uncomfortable? "Ok, babe. I get it." Even though he didn't really. "I'll be there in a minute." And he flipped his phine shut.

Gwen did the same, slipping it back into her pocket before seating herself at the edge of the driveway to wait as Courtney had.

Duncan was quick to leave his house and hop into his car, eager to see Gwen as well as a mite bit worried for her. The way she sounded so uneasy had made him sense that something was wrong.

The air was chilling as Gwen waited, her having to wrap her arms around herself for warmth. She wished Duncan would hurry up. He was generally a speed devil. So why was he being so slow now? And the longer he took the more she was forced to think about Courtney and where she might have gone to.

Duncan arrived a little later then he intended. There had been a small wreck on the road he'd chosen to travel and it cost him precious time. But he made it nonetheless, pulling up by Courtney's driveway with a smirk plastered on his face. "Sup babe?"

Gwen jumped to her feet instantly, previous woes forgotten at the sight of him. A bright smile even spread across her face as she jumped in the passenger seat. "Hey!"

"Where to ma'am?" he teased, acting as if he didn't know.

Gwen playfully smacked him. "Shut up! Like you don't know." She said with an eye roll.

Duncan's grin widened. "Ok. To the moon it is then." he chuckled, watching eagerly for her reaction.

"You're ridiculous." she scoffed, failing to conceal her amusement that he always caused her to feel.

He was quickly pulled away from the curb then, heading a different way than which he'd come so as to avoid the traffic jam he'd encountered previously.

"What are you doing?" Gwen inquired in confusion, not used to coming this way.

Duncan took a hand from the wheel to make a gesture backwards. "There was a wreck the normal way. It's why I was slow getting to you and why I refuse to go back."

Gwen giggled. She sensed that he was severely irritated which was rare for him. "Whatever. It's nothing to get mad over." she nudged him in the side. "Right?"

"I'm not mad!" he denied, waving both his hands about.

"Ok." she shrugged, ending the topic.

The rest of the way they told jokes that only they would get and talked in great detail of some of the past happenings in their lives. Unfortunately when they reached Gwen's house the humor and laid back nature of the conversation died fast.

Gwen froze mid-sentence as she turned her gaze toward the window on her side. "Shit." She hissed. In her driveway set another car, one which she'd grown to know well.

Duncan didn't notice Gwen's sudden slip in demeanor and continued to smile. "Here we are m'lady." he teased, poking her in the side.

Gwen jumped at the contact, quickly putting on her mask of cheer to cover her shock. "Yeah." she sighed.

Duncan raised a brow. "Something wrong?" He pondered, looking around her to see the car in the driveway. "Oh! is someone else here?"

Gwen lowered her gaze. "Yes. It's my boyfriend." She sounded distracted as she looked back out the window to see if he was standing outside anywhere.

"Oh. You mean Trent? That's **his** car?" he was pretty impressed. "Cool."

Gwen frowned deeply. "Yep. Pretty cool."

Duncan tore his attention away from the awesome car which he now coveted to look back to Gwen. She didn't look half as pleased as he did. In fact, it was almost like the life had been sucked right out of her eyes and face in general. "What's the matter?"

Gwen perked, shaking her head furtively. "Nothing!"

Duncan frowned deeply, crossing his arms over his chest to further his look of disbelief.

"Really!" she swore up and down. "I'm just a little upset that I forgot I promised him I'd be here right after school." she sighed. "I'm sure I upset him."

Duncan snorted. "Don't be silly. Trent is a laid back dude, he won't care." Duncan flashed a smile in hopes that it would be infectious.

Gwen forced a half smile. "I suppose." Although she knew this wasn't true. Something had changed about Trent not long ago and he wasn't what everyone else perceived him to be anymore.

"Now gimme a hug." he ordered playfully, opening his arms to her.

Gwen was hesitant to do so right here in this moment. Still, she found herself unable to deny her best friend. If she did he'd become curious and no doubt demand to know the problem. So she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his neck in a warm embrace, and nearly forgot where she was.

Duncan was quick to reciprocate her affections, wrapping his arms around her middle back gently. "And you better call me." he whispered in her ear. "I hate not talking to you."

Gwen snorted. "When do I not?" she teased, pulling away.

Duncan grinned from ear to ear. "Never."

"Exactly." She reached out and ruffled his mohawk, laughing lightly. "See ya later." she added, stepping out of the car and heading up her driveway with a slight shiver running down her spine.

"Bye, babe!" he called after her, waving as she tilted her head back toward him slightly.

She chuckled, waving back before opening the door to her house and stepping onto the threshold. The door shutting, despite the obviousness of it, made her jump. She sighed heavily as she realized it was nothing more.

The sound of footsteps soon followed and out from around the corner stepped Trent, a scowl set on his face, frown gracing his lips, and arms crossed firmly over his chest.

"Hi, Trent!" Gwen tried to sound happy to see him again, but it was hard considering the circumstances.

Trent ignored her greeting, sensing the falseness lying within it. "Where have you been?" He growled, staring her down with intensity.

Gwen swallowed hard, already wishing she'd stayed at Courtney's house even though she was gone. "Look, I'm sorry I forgot, but-"

Trent emitted a low growl. "I asked you a question!" he snapped. "Where have you been?" he repeated.

Gwen stood straight as was possible, acting tough. "Courtney's." She said simply, not seeing the error in this.

Trent's eyes shot open. "What?" he cried in alarm, taking quick step forward towards her.

Gwen took a step away from him just as quickly as he had went forward. "I went to Courtney's." Gwen repeated with just as much, if not more, conviction. "You know that she's my best friend, Trent. Just because she's unstable doesn't mean I will drop her like a hat and move on!"

Trent snorted. "That's exactly what it means." he hissed. "If you hang around her you'll turn out just the same!" A pause. "And I don't want that." he said gently, smiling as he closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her much like Duncan had.

Gwen fell into his embrace, limp as a rag doll in his hold. She still relished moments like this. It was all that remained of Trent's good nature.

"So what do you say?" he whispered, tickling her ear. "Will you get near her like that again?" there was an edge to his voice that most would have missed, but it mattered little. There was no one there to hear either way.

"I..." she breathed, almost hypnotized. She wanted so badly to do as he said. The only thing stopping her was the facial expression that flashed before her eyes in that instant. It was Courtney when her phone buzzed earlier. It was awful. "...I can't." she sighed, knowing she had crossed a thine line.

"What?" he hissed, pulling back from her, expression hard like before.

"She needs me Trent." she whined. "Don't you understand?" there were tears in her eyes. "And besides..." she looked away from him as his eyes grew colder. "It's not as if instability is contagious!" she said harshly, scowling similar to him.

Trent raised a brow. "Really now?" A pause. "So you're telling me months of exposure to her suicidal tendencies won't change you at all?" malice hid in his tone.

Gwen ignored it. "No!" she snapped. "No! Because she'll get better! It'll take a while, but she'll get better!" the more she said it the less she believed it.

Trent snorted. "Right." he rolled his eyes, pacing back and forth in front of her. He stopped and faced her to speak a minute later. "You better be right." he warned. "Or else."

Gwen swallowed hard, cowering slightly.

Trent turned to go to the couch, stopping when something came to him. He frowned deeply, turning back to her. "Wait a minute..." he said to himself. "How did you get here?" his voice was dripping with anger through his clenched teeth.

Gwen knew this was coming from the start and it was what she dreaded. She shrugged, shuddering slightly. "I walked."

"HA!" he cried. "Don't bullshit me." he warned, getting closer to Gwen again. "I'm no fool. You didn't have near enough time to visit Courtney and get over here on foot."

Gwen cringed. He was getting to close for comfort. Still, she had a sudden urge to push her luck. "And I'm no liar!" she barked back, daring him to counter her. "Unlike you."

Trent's eyes caught fire, teeth bared threateningly. "You little-!" He bellowed, instantly lashing out and gripping her arms tight. "Don't push me." he hissed, breathing heavy.

Gwen's heart beat fast in her chest, fear climbing at an unimaginable rate. "Let go." she growled, trying her hardest not to show that he was hurting her.

"NO!" he screamed in her face, yanking her forward so that their noses were inches apart. "Not until I get the truth." he squeezed harder.

"Stop!" she half begged, pulling as hard as she could to get away.

He scrutinized her miserable expression with haste, seeing what he hated most in the depths of her eyes. "No..." he breathed in disbelief. "No, way."

Gwen swallowed hard.

"You didn't." he voice shook slightly, a strange thing for him. "You didn't!" he burst out. "You got that dog Duncan to take you home?" he spat, tightening his grip tenfold so that he knew there was no way it didn't hurt.

Gwen let out a sharp yelp. "So what!" she screamed back, tears in her eyes. "So what if I did?" her voice trembled.

Trent's mouth twitched uncontrollably. "Idiot!" he screeched, releasing her so that he could swiftly slap her across the face with everything in him. "I told you not to take rides from him!"

Gwen's eyes were open wide, mouth agape as she lifted a trembling hand to her reddening cheek. She had lost the ability to speak.

"And that's what you get." Trent scoffed.

Gwen couldn't believe what he'd done. He'd struck her. He'd never done it before. He'd always bashed her verbally and gripped her harder than he should. But not this. There had been so much force behind his action that it still stung. And worst of all she could feel the resentment in the slap as well. It was tremendous.

"You don't know what that vermin could do!" he growled with a sense of worry that didn't quite fit. "He'll hurt you."

Gwen shook her head slowly.

"Gwen!" he started, harsh, but quickly fell back into an even tone. "You don't know that. You don't know what he does to girls who blindly follow him, and they all do." he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "He doesn't care about them, no matter what he says. He only seeks to please himself and his dark desires. I've seen it."

Gwen wanted to kill Trent for saying such slanderous things about her best friend, but didn't. She stopped herself because she knew it was the way to make him happy, going along with his notions, and she aimed to please. At least, it was one of the only ways to make him say he loved her.

"Got it?" his words held an edge, a silent threat.

She nodded tentatively.

"Good." He transformed into the person he used to be, wrapping his arms gently about her and rested his head on her shoulder as he nuzzled her softly.

Gwen closed her eyes, imagining a different lead up to this moment then the one which had transpired as well as focused enough to enjoy the moment.

He raised back up, looking sweetly down into her eyes with his own green ones. "I love you." he whispered, pressing his lips to hers for a kiss where he tasted the blueberry that was her trademark lipstick.

Gwen quickly reciprocated his affections, delighted that her choice in action, or inaction rather, had led to this result. She even brought her arms around his middle back, holding fast to him like a leech. She was only disappointed that the moment was short lived.

Trent was quick to break the kiss, breathing in her sweet scent a moment after. "You smell beautiful." He complimented, completely missing Duncan's smell which usually lingered on her after a ride in his car.

Gwen smiled. "Thanks."

Trent placed another kiss on her forehead this time before releasing her. "Are we gonna watch a movie then?" He pondered, flashing a smile.

Gwen nodded, reaching her hand which didn't cover her face up for his.

Trent took it as he knew she wanted, gripping onto it with a gentleness unlike before when they'd fought. And then he lead her swiftly to the couch, setting her down where he wanted before he went to choose a movie. "What do you want to watch, honey?"

Gwen shrugged. She didn't much care. However, more so she didn't trust herself in opening her mouth. She had barely been able to give a simple thanks and God knows what she'd do if she had to say more.

Trent shrugged right back, snatching a movie of his own liking out from a stack. "Titanic?" He looked back over his shoulder to gage her reaction.

Gwen simply nodded, refusing to break her rule of silence.

"Ok." He put the movie in the VCR, all Gwen had, before taking his place next to her. "It's a good choice." He stretched his arm out around her, settling into place.

Gwen watched only him for the first few minutes before finally deciding that he was intent upon staying the whole time and then turned her attention to the movie too. He was right, it was a good movie. A tragedy. It was just like Courtney's life and perhaps her own. She had simply ignored the latter in hopes that it would go away.

Only now she wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe it wouldn't. In fact, what if it simply got worse?

**The song this time is Pain by Three Days Grace. I've neglected to mention the singer with the past few chapters, and if you care then sorry. If not, then that's fine too. And I know Gwen can draw in the show, but whatever. Please review!**


	7. Happy

**I finally figured out who the boyfriend will be! :D It took a lot of thinking, but I finally did it. And he was the only logical pick really. It still bugs me a bit though since he was going to have a role near the end of the fic, but he will just have to be replaced. So read to find out who it is! :)**

Gwen found it near impossible to go to sleep that night. She tossed and turned for hours, unable to push the previous event from her mind. It was only when the clock chimed one did she jump up suddenly, running over to her dresser to grab her phone. She had completely forgotten to call Duncan in the heat of things. She just hoped he wouldn't be too pissed about forgetting and as a result calling so late.

The phone rang only once, a miracle in and of itself, before Duncan picked up. "What…?" he yawned, not yet realizing who it was calling. He had been fast asleep in bed for once, only answering the phone to quiet it.

"Duncan." Gwen sighed, eyes sad with a hint of contentedness because he had answered so fast.

Duncan perked instantly. "Gwen!" he cried. "Hey, babe." He was wide awake now. "What happened to calling?" his tone held an edge of irritation.

Gwen sensed his annoyance even through the phone, bowing her head in apology. "I know. I'm so sorry!" she cried, sighing heavily shortly after. "Trent and I got into it today and I completely forgot." Her voice trembled as the memory flashed before her eyes.

Duncan started. "You mean you fought?" He said incredulously. "He really got mad at you for being late." His voice was low and obviously pissed.

Gwen was quick to cover her mistake. "N-No!" she yelped. "I mean…it wasn't about that…" It was only a half lie at least.

Duncan frowned, not quite sure if he believed this or not. "Then what was it?" He had to know.

Gwen thought for a moment before answering. "It was…Courtney." She stopped herself from saying 'you' despite the fact she ached as a result. At least this wasn't a lie either though.

"Courtney?" he struggled to see what there was to fight about concerning Mrs. Suicidal.

"Yeah. He doesn't think it's safe for me to be around her. He's afraid that she'll cause me to act similar to her."

Duncan shrugged. "Maybe. It's not a ludicrous assumption anyway." Duncan was surprised he himself hadn't thought of this and no longer thought that Trent was being pushy. All Duncan saw was a guy protecting his girl and, as a result, his best friend too.

Gwen cringed. Of course he'd agree. He wanted her to be safe too. There was no reason for him to doubt Trent's intentions. Now she wished she'd come up with something more suspicious. "I guess." She murmured sadly.

Duncan instantly picked up on her sadness, mood brought down to the same level within a moment. "Gwen?"

"Hmm?" she perked, seating herself back on the bed.

"You sound like something's bothering you." He said bluntly, not feeling like beating around the bush for once.

Gwen felt a shiver run down her spine. It was time to lie again. "It's just Courtney." She sighed, falling back on her pillow gently. "I'm scared for her." It was better this way.

Duncan sighed. "Ok. I suppose there isn't much I can do about that." The confession made the feeling of bitterness in the pit of his stomach even worse. Knowing that there was no hope of him easing his best friends pain was a horrible realization.

Gwen grimaced. "No. I guess not…" she whispered, not sure if he heard. "…not at all…"

Duncan heard her say something, but didn't bother asking her to repeat. He figured it couldn't be too incredibly important.

"Well…I should go…" she said with sorrow. "I just wanted to let you know things were alright." She smiled wanly with disbelief in herself.

Duncan nodded to himself. "Yeah, ok. I'm glad you did." A pause. "I'll see you tomorrow then." As he said it he was struck with a feeling of disbelief. Why didn't he trust this? Why did he think it was wrong to hang up? Why...?

**...**

Nothing exceptional occurred from Gwen's point of view for the next few weeks or so except that Courtney had slowly regained a certain spark about her that Gwen hadn't seen for far too long. Her eyes were no longer that dull shade, her mouth at least a flat line rather than a deep frown, and she had better posture. Gwen wondered why a lot. Was it simply the therapy working? Or...could it have been that call?

Regardless of the answer, it was certainly more than she could say for herself.

It seemed that the more at ease Courtney became the worse Gwen felt, for each and every day she felt as if a little more of her soul was sucked from her being. It had been quite a while since she'd experienced such feelings and she was worried. Maybe Trent was right, maybe Courtney was bad for her.

Either way Gwen wasn't going to abandon the girl. She liked seeing her happy, no matter how hard Gwen had to work to make it so, no matter how bad it hurt. This was why, regardless of how shitty her own day had been, she was taking Courtney to one of her favorite spots. They were going to the park.

"This is really nice of you." Courtney muttered in appreciation as they slowly walked down the sidewalk. She was talking a lot more lately. This made Gwen happy as well.

Gwen smiled, looking up at the cloud littered sky rather then at her friend. "It's nothing." Gwen shrugged. "I know how much you like this place."

Courtney smiled back. "Yeah, it's special." she sighed, trailing from Gwen's side to go over to a nearby bench and sink into it.

Gwen followed her, sitting right next to her. "It is to me too." Gwen recalled.

Courtney tilted her head to the side slightly.

"Don't you remember?" Gwen said hopefully with a hint of worry. If Courtney did not remember she didn't know what she'd do or say.

Courtney thought hard for a moment before finally speaking. "Oh! Yes, I do." she smiled brightly. "It's where we first met."

Gwen sighed in relief, nodding. "Uh-huh. We didn't get along so well then though." Gwen chuckled.

Courtney nodded faintly. "It's different now..." Courtney murmured bitterly, cheer slipping slightly. "We know things."

Gwen cringed. She needed to change the topic, and fast. "Hey, look!" Gwen cried, pointing over at a dog running around in circles trying to catch its tail. "It's a yorkie!"

Courtney was easily distracted from the topic at hand because she loved dogs. "Aww." she cooed, clasping her hands together. "It's adorable!" her eyes shinned brighter than before. "I wish I had a dog." she sighed, staring longingly at the creature.

Gwen chuckled, watching Courtney instead of the dog. "It is pretty cute." She admitted. Little dogs were certainly more-so than the big ones at least. Those things scared her to death, it's why she didn't own one. That and she wasn't all that rich.

Courtney sighed contentedly before raising up unexpectedly.

"Courtney!" Gwen cried, jumping up after her. "Where are you going?"

Courtney tore her eyes from the dog's antics long enough to take in Gwen's concerned expression. "I dunno." she shrugged. "I'm kinda hungry I guess." she proceeded to walk away.

Gwen was quick to follow suit. "I'll come with you."

Courtney furrowed her brow at her friend, slowing marginally. "You don't have to." She insisted.

Gwen shrugged. "I'm hungry too." Gwen lied. In all honesty she wasn't hungry enough to even eat a crumb.

Courtney shrugged. "Ok."

They walked at an identical pace to one another until they reached a hot dog stand a few minutes away.

Gwen inwardly barfed at the mere smell. She wasn't big on hot dogs, not at all.

Courtney, on the other hand, had no problem with it. "One hot dog with ketchup and mustard and -" she paused, looking back at Gwen for her order.

Gwen shook her head, hands pressed over her mouth. "No. I hate hot dogs."

"That's all." she nodded, withdrawing money from her pockets to hand to the man.

He took the cash uninterestedly, handing her back her order in exchange.

"Thanks." Courtney muttered sweetly, turning swiftly and heading back to the bench.

Gwen acted like a loyal dog, padding along next to her. "Looks...good." she squeezed out, groaning lightly.

Courtney laughed softly. "Don't be silly. I know you don't think so." she tossed her hair about as some fell into her eyes. "And you don't have to pretend for me either."

Gwen didn't say anything to this, waiting until they were sitting again before starting a new topic. "Ever cloud gazed?" It was a random thought, but it was all she could think of.

Courtney took large bites of her food, answering between mouthfuls. "Yeah. It's ok I guess."

"I do it all the time." Gwen informed her, trying to get her more invested in the topic. "Duncan loves it."

Courtney snorted. "That pig? Ugh, he's so full of himself. He thinks it makes him better the more girls he can say he's done too." she shook her head.

Gwen stared at her in disbelief mingled with confusion. She hadn't realized Courtney had formed such a negative opinion of her best friend. "He's not that bad." Gwen said in a sad tone.

Courtney laughed at this. "What planet have you been on?"

Gwen scowled darkly at her, refraining from speaking.

It was then that Courtney saw she was treading on thin ice. "Oh." she murmured. "You're his friend aren't you?" she said tentatively.

Gwen crossed her arms over her chest.

Courtney grinned. "Sorry." she shrugged. "But even if he treats you right that doesn't mean that's how he always is. You're the exception." she said this as if it were the truth with no hope of being rebutted.

"Whatever." she grumbled, looking away from her. "Hey! Look!That cloud looks like a bunny." Gwen pointed, trying her best to forget the previous words exchanged.

Courtney peered in the direction her friend was pointing. She chuckled. "Kinda." She looked for a cloud of her own. "Oh! There's a dog!" she giggled.

Gwen grinned from ear to ear as she watched Courtney have fun. "You said you've done this before." she said absentmindedly. "With who?"

Courtney winced slightly. "My boyfriend. We used to do it a lot." she sighed sadly.

Gwen sucked in a sharp breath, she was frantic. She hadn't meant to make her sad by asking. Now she had to do something about it. "H-Hey!" she said in an off key tone, her desperation showing easily. "How bout that episode of Pretty Little Liars?" she said lamely.

Courtney laughed. "Are you trying to change the subject?" she asked incredulously, looking expectantly into her friends eyes.

Gwen snorted. "No. I really want to know." she said in defense, turning her nose to the air.

Courtney snorted, rolling her eyes. "You don't have to try so hard Gwen." she said warmly. "I know after what I did you probably want to keep anything I find bitter away from conversation, but you don't have to." As she said it she remembered her first session with her therapist. She had been right. Gwen was just like she said she'd been with her suicidal friend.

Gwen averted her gaze, not liking how well Courtney was seeing through her.

"Cause everyone's sad sometimes. It's life. At least my therapist says so." her smile slipped. "So don't treat me like a piece of glass that will break if to much pressure, or sadness, is put on it."

Gwen didn't know what to say to this. It rather reminded her of what she'd told Duncan when he tried to explain hiding Courtney's predicament from her. Could they really be so similar?

"And what about you?" Courtney quickly moved on from her speech, not wanting Gwen to get the idea that just because she was 'ok' that she could ask anything of her. In actuality she would really prefer to let Gwen keep on fighting tooth and nail to hide the bad parts of life away from her. It was just that she felt she should repay Gwen's efforts with some degree of reprieve. If that meant enduring a mention of her boyfriend now and again, then she'd deal. It was part of the healing process anyway.

"Huh? Me?" Gwen perked. "What about me?"

"You said you do it a lot. Do you really just do it with Duncan?" there was easily detectable disgust in her tone aimed at Duncan.

Gwen shrugged. "Yeah. If we're not doing that we're watching some horror movie or another." Gwen smiled warmly at the thought, looking forward to the next time they'd do it.

"What about Trent? You never do it with him, your boyfriend?" She couldn't understand why Gwen would share moments with a friend like Duncan instead of sweet Trent.

Gwen let out a low growl at the mention of his name. "No. Never." she said through clenched teeth, hoping Courtney would change the subject.

Courtney scrunched up her nose. "**Never**?"

Gwen sighed. "He's not into it. He's much more the kind of guy who wants to be inside. Almost anything we do is in one of our houses." her mind flashed back to the last thing they'd done in his house. He'd hit her again. Actually, he did it every few days now over something no matter how stupid. But it was mostly Duncan or Courtney.

Gwen had gotten mostly used to it by now, the random outbursts, but it still stung worse each time. It was like the more comfortable he became with the action the more willing he was to hit harder. She wished she was strong enough to stand up to him, but because there was this fear in the back of her mind that biting back would make it worse she never did.

Courtney frowned. She had never heard of a guy who wanted to be inside more than out. She almost wanted to believe Gwen was making it up. "It sure is different, that's for sure."

Gwen grappled in her head for some other topic that wouldn't look like she was trying to hide something by bringing it up, but there was nothing. Nothing logical could come out of a discussion of her boyfriend except Courtney's boyfriend. But that was wrong.

"Then what do you do?" she asked curiously, giggling as ideas came to her mind. "You kiss? Cuddle?"

Gwen blushed a deep red. "W-What?" she stuttered, eyes wide. "Those aren't activities!"

Courtney laughed loudly, lifting her head to the sky. "Are too!" she teased.

Gwen hit her playfully, smiling falling into a flat line as her phone buzzed in her pocket. She picked it out and flipped it open to read the text. 'Where are you? You need to come home.' It was Trent

Courtney peeked over Gwen's shoulder to read the text. She got through it all before Gwen shut the device, just missing who it was from. "Gotta go, huh?" she asked, leaning back from Gwen so that they didn't appear to be strange to onlookers.

Gwen spun back around, shoving her phone back in to the depths of her pocket. "No." she lied.

Courtney gave her a look. "But that text-"

"You were reading my text?" she gasped. "Personal space please?"

Courtney frowned deeply. "What? You've never cared before. Most the time you shove them in my face." she reminded in exasperation, pointing a finger at Gwen.

"So." Gwen grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'd just prefer if you didn't read stuff without me saying so."

"Why? So you can try and lie to me better?" she accused, growing irritated with Gwen.

Gwen froze. Yes. Yes, that's why. "What are you talking about?" she said with obvious nervousness. "Why would I lie to you?"

Courtney sighed. "I don't know." A pause. "But if I had to guess I'd say you were either avoiding someone at home or trying to find a way to be around me as much as humanly possible."

Gwen felt she shrunk further with each word spoken. Why did she have to be so smart? Why didn't Gwen bond with someone a little dumber? She was sure there were plenty pf people at school screwed up enough to qualify and out of those three fourths would probably be easier to deal with than Courtney as far as seriousness goes.

"Gwen..." Courtney's tone softened, losing it's edge of annoyance. "Why?"

Gwen stared blankly at her.

"Why do you want to be around me?"

Gwen gawked. "What?" she blinked a couple of times to make sure this was real. "Why would you ask that?"

Courtney's expression grew stern almost instantly. "I mean it. Answer." she wanted to know the truth, something that they rarely asked each other to give. They had more secrets than most friends, secrets that were very, very, dark.

"You're my friend. What more is there to know?" she half shrugged, wishing Courtney wouldn't stare at her with such intensity.

"No." Courtney growled. "I want a real answer. I'm sick and tired of getting halfassed answers like that." her gaze burned straight through Gwen, daring her to lie one more time. "What really binds you to me?"

Gwen sighed, lowering her gaze. "I...it's..." she didn't know how to say it. How was she to tell Courtney all the things that keep her eternally by Courtney's side. She could not. So she cheated. "Our lives aren't so different." she admitted. "We both have problems, bad problems, which we struggle to overcome on a daily basis." She paused, swallowing hard. "Having each other...it makes it easier..."

Courtney's expression lost its tenseness again, this answer enough to please her in this moment. Still, there was more she hoped to understand. "Is it...really that bad?" she pondered tentatively, feeling like a hypocrite all the while. Who was she to pry when she bit off Gwen's head for trying?

Gwen cringed. "I don't know." she murmured uneasily, fidgeting in discomfort. "I guess..." she realized this was not a real answer, but she didn't care. She merely wanted for this discussion to end. Anything would be better.

Courtney easily saw that she was getting into things that were strictly off limits to wandering eyes. Yet she still found herself asking more. "So you cling to me because you feel we're birds of a feather so to speak?"

Gwen sighed deeply in annoyance, holding her tongue. She shouldn't snap, she couldn't snap, she wouldn't.

"Even so, it doesn't explain why you have started ditching any other human contact except Duncan in favor of me." she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "So why is that? Why don't you want to talk to others anymore? I-"

"Courtney!" Gwen snapped, fists clenched tight. "Shut. Up."

Courtney was taken aback, a hurt expression playing across her face.

"I don't want to answer these questions! So stop making me." she growled through clenched teeth. "I don't barrage you with questions! It's common curtsy." Gwen hopped up off her place on the bench, running her fingers through her hair.

"Gwen..." Courtney muttered, unable to say more.

"I'm going home." she grumbled, hating the thought as much as ever. Once there she'd have to face Trent and God knows what sort of complaints he had concerning her. It wasn't a pleasant notion.

"Come on!" Courtney whined. "I didn't mean to make you mad."

Gwen looked back at her from the corner of her eye. "It's not that." she flat out lied. It was completely that. "I just have to go. Mom said." she thought it better to pretend her mother wished her home instead of Trent. It would make escape easier.

Courtney hung her head. Her absence meant she'd have to find her own ways to entertain herself. "O...k..." she finally agreed.

"I'll see you later." Gwen grumbled, walking ridgedly away with a heavy sense of bitterness hanging over her head as she abandoned Courtney like she, just minutes before, would have done anything to avoid. And she kind of wanted to stay even now. She just needed to prove she wasn't so dependent as Courtney believed as did she need to teach Courtney not to pry into her business or she might be at liberty of losing her.

Courtney watched her slowly disappearing figure before she completely vanished in to a car a few minutes later. Courtney guessed to to be Trent or Duncan, but she didn't know.

Once she was alone she mechanically moved from her seat, wandering over to the now deserted playground to sit on the swing instead. She moved her feet back and forth gently, gradually gaining speed.

The wind felt cool against her skin as she swung gently, her hair fluttering about her face in a disorganized manner. But for once she didn't care. She was content with swinging here, alone to her thoughts. She was actually pleased to have Gwen gone too. It was strange.

Her thoughts wandered to all sorts of topics, the future, Gwen's current feelings toward her and the overall situation, her own feelings, all the friends she'd lost, her mother and how Courtney had ruined everything for her, and even her boyfriend. Mostly she wondered what was wrong with him. He hadn't been the way he was before she tried to kill herself lately.

Her thoughts were then intruded upon. "Hey, babe." came a smooth voice, his voice.

Amazingly enough the sound of his somewhat haunting tone didn't make her shudder for once. She didn't even falter, swinging ever the same. "Hey, Al." she said softly, keeping her gaze glued ahead of her.

He smiled almost sinisterly, placing his hands on her shoulders lightly as he spoke, "How's my girl?"

"Better." she said simply, still finding herself unnerved by his touch even after weeks of him barely touching her in a gentle manner whether it was a tap on the shoulder or his fingers running across her cheeks. She still wasn't thrilled by it.

He massaged her with care. "And what are you doing here all alone?"

Courtney closed her eyes, enjoying this. "I wasn't." she sighed. "Gwen was here..."

Alejandro frowned lightly. "That Goth girl?" He pondered mostly to himself.

"Don't call her that." she mumbled, feeling tired.

"Sorry." he apologized instantly. "It's a bad habit."

Courtney shrugged. "It's ok."

Alejandro removed his hands from her, stepping over to the empty swing beside her and sitting down. "Aren't you cold?" he asked randomly.

She reopened her eyes, turning her head to gaze at his dark skinned face and in to his emerald green eyes. They were as mesmerizing as ever. "No." she replied in a dazed voice. "It's nice out."

"Indeed." he concurred, nodding faintly. He then grabbed the chain of her swing, pulling it toward him so that she too was brought closer. "But you know what's nicer?" he snickered.

Courtney smiled bashfully in response. "What?" she breathed.

He brought his free hand up to her face, stroking it with care. "You."

Courtney felt a shiver run up her spine, but for what reason she wasn't quite sure. She couldn't tell if it was from fear, like usual, or excitement. "Corny." she teased.

"Maybe." he chuckled. "But it's the truth." he assured her, bringing her face toward his so that he could place a tender kiss on her lips.

Courtney froze. She was so shocked that she could not find it in her to reciprocate. She had not felt his lips on hers so softly in forever. But this didn't change the fact that there was a spark on contact.

Alejandro was quick to pull away from her, knowing better then to push to far no matter how much he wanted to. After all, he needed her. He couldn't lose her. "You taste sweet." He smiled softly.

Courtney blushed lightly, looking away from him so that she didn't get trapped in them and taken back to the place where everything had gone so wrong for them. For, even now, after everything, she still wished to believe in his good intentions. She knew she was a fool, yet there was nothing she could do about it.

"You always taste sweet." he continued. "Like strawberries." he flashed her a roguish smile.

She giggled, loving the attention. "Yeah." was all she could think to say.

He stood up. "Wanna walk?" he asked reaching his hand out to her.

Courtney did, but didn't. She was still not sure about going places alone with him away from others view. "Yes." she finally conceded, laying her hand in his with trust.

"Then let's go." he said simply, leading her away from the playground and on to the sidewalk to walk circles around the park.

There was no conversation made after that. Neither needed nor wanted to say anything to the other. They merely walked, hand in hand, through the park. It was one thing that they shared, their love of the outdoors, namely the park. Other then that Courtney could think of few other similarities.

As they walked Alejandro found it hard to focus on anything. He had this strange feeling that they were being watched.

And they were.

On behalf of Gwen, Duncan had set to keeping a close eye on the pair. Not that he expected much to come of it. He was just being a good friend. He'd do anything for Gwen.

Naturally, he was right. They went about innocently doing things together for the next hour or so before parting ways and returning home. So soon did Duncan as well. He'd tell Gwen about it tomorrow.

**Ok. If this doesn't make sense, then sorry. Basically that text from the other chapter changed things. Trust me, it's not all sunshine and flowers, just...different. It'll make more sense a little later on. Song: Happy by Leona Lewis. Please review! :)**


	8. Love the Way You Lie

**Another one all about Gwen. This is why I wish it could be in more than one category. But whatever. Enjoy!**

The next day was as slow as ever for Gwen. She went through her classes almost mechanically, ignoring anyone who took the time to talk to her. And those with particularly bad luck, speaking at just the wrong moment, got their heads practically riped right off their body.

It had nothing to do with how they talked or the questions they asked, Gwen just reached a boiling point of stress every so often and had no better way to deal with it then to get angry like Trent.

She particularly favored the phrases, 'Screw you' or 'What do you think you're doing' and sometimes even 'Dumbass.' The latter usually occurred when she tried to suppress her fury for longer than was possible. As such, by the end of the day, she was officially the girl no one wanted to get within two feet of. And it only got worse.

By the end of the week after not even Bridgette would stand to talk to her. She didn't want to hurt Gwen's feelings by showing this, but she couldn't take the constant snapping over little things, even just something like saying hi. So she finally moved.

"Gwen, look..." Bridgette murmured, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. "It's not that I don't want to sit with you, it's just that..." she struggled to come up with something convincing. "...my cousin is here!" she said with a little to much enthusiasm, like she was so amazed at her cleverness. "And she's having a rough time adjusting, so I promised I'd help a bit."

Gwen narrowed her eyes, snarl forming on her lips. "Uh-huh." she grumbled in disbelief, crossing her arms over her chest for added effect.

Bridgette nodded firmly. "Yeah. So, I've got to go." she said a little to fast to be real before turning swiftly on her heel and running off to a table in the far corner of the cafeteria so that Gwen might not be able to see whoever she chose to be her supposed cousin. Not that she expected it to work anyway.

Gwen shook with anger, about to her fifth boiling point of the day. This was more frequent than usual because of two reasons. One was that Trent had hit her again today after a break in the abuse and, more importantly, she hadn't seen Duncan all day. It generally brought hher anger down a notch or two just seeing his face, which everyone wanted. But not today.

So when she heard someone's voice saying hi she didn't hesitate even a fraction of a second, she automatically swirled around and snapped. "What do you want?"

Duncan jerked back as she lashed out like she did, caught off guard. "Chill." he grumbled, chuckling lightly.

It took another moment for Gwen to recognize Duncan's voice, but once she did her eyes widened considerably. "Don't startle me like that!" she growled, sighing irritably.

Duncan raised a brow at her strange and completely unnatural reaction. "You alright?" he asked with concern, taking a uneasy step toward her and reaching out to lay a hand on her shoulder.

Gwen jerked away, crossing her arms and scowling miserably. "Fine." she grumbled, not making eye contact anymore. She couldn't bear to.

"You don't seem to be." he said bluntly, scowling right back at her while making sure to keep his distance this time.

"Whatever!" she rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter what you think! The only thing that matters is how I feel and how Trent feels." she grimaced as his name passed her lips. It just didn't feel like it belonged there. She wasn't sure if it deserved to be.

Duncan frowned deeply. "Why would his opinion matter and mine not?" he asked with obvious annoyance. "Gwen..." he sighed, staying planted to his spot. "I'm your best friend. What I think should matter."

She snorted. "Leave me alone." she deliberately turned her body away from him to so that all he could see was her profile. She was afraid looking at him dead in the eye would make her unable to continue her act of indifference.

Duncan emitted a low growl under his breath, unable to find much else to say to this. All he could do was think deeply about what was possessing his friend like this. Something was definitely out of place here. This was not the Gwen he knew. However, he finally settled on something. "Something **is** wrong."

Gwen growled more audibly than Duncan had, fists quaking slightly from irritation. "**Nothing** is wrong." she insisted, fighting back her newly developed instinct to quite literally bite his head off.

"Is it family stuff?" he questioned uncertainly.

"No." she said simply.

"Friends?"

She sighed. "No."

Duncan's frown deepened, his brow furrowing as he thought hard on what else went on in her life. "Hmm..." he mumbled, hoping it would help him think better.

"Are you quite done?" she said through clenched teeth.

"What about Trent? Are you all fighting or something?" he said tentatively, figuring this would be the most sensitive subject to her no matter if he was right or not.

Gwen instantly stiffened, eyes widening with equal haste. "Don't be ridiculous!" she said harshly, swirling back around to fire a deadly gaze his way. "What do we have to fight about?" she said with equal harshness.

Duncan shrugged. "I wish I knew." he said with forced nonchalance, scanning Gwen and her expression ever so carefully. "Almost as much as I wish you'd tell me." he admitted bitterly.

Gwen frowned, dropping her gaze to the ground. "There's nothing to know." she said with much less spirit, making it even harder for Duncan to believe her story. "Because there's nothing wrong." she added, turning away and started walking away from him slowly.

"Gwen!" he called, grabbing on to her shoulder.

Gwen bared her teeth, glad he was unable to see.

"Promise me you'd at least tell me if there was something wrong." he pleaded. "Please?" his tone was much sadder now, his sincere concern showing through for once.

Gwen lowered her head in defeat. "Ok." she lied, half happy to have made him happy for at least a little while.

Duncan let his hand slip from her shoulder. "Thanks..." he murmured more to himself than her for he too was lying to an extent. He saw right through her and her unwavering insistence that she was fine and was intent on finding out the truth. He was going to go to her house as soon as was possible, which would have to be a Sunday. There was just to much going on tomorrow for him. But this little time wouldn't make a difference.

At least that's what he thought.

For the umpteenth time Gwen played with her lunch more than she ate it. It was simply undesirable under the circumstances. It didn't help that she had chased off any person that might have wanted to sit next to her. And Courtney wasn't there either and Gwen honestly didn't know if she was just gone or perhaps avoiding her like everyone else.

Then there was fifth and sixth which dragged on for an eternity. Still, she was at least halfway pleased by this considering it made it feel like she was away from Trent for longer. To bad it was nothing more than a feeling. It was not reality.

"Gwen!" she heard her name called in the last few minutes of sixth.

She jumped slightly. "Huh? Yes?" she perked.

There was a collective laugh as she was startled to attention, and it made her blush slightly.

The teacher frowned. "What is the answer?" she repeated, tapping the white board with her marker.

"Um..." Gwen mumbled. She looked around desperately for some sort of sign as to how it was supposed to be done. Why wasn't there an example from earlier or something? It would be simple to see the process to the answer if working back! Alas she was not so lucky. She was on her own.

"Well...?" the teacher said irritably, tapping her foot to further show her annoyance.

The laughter was being held done to mere giggles now, but it didn't change Gwen's demeanor. She was nervous as hell, obvious by how she had begun to rub the back of her neck nervously. "I...It's...four?" she said tentatively with a shrug.

Then there was a chorus of laughter which lifted up and filled the entirety of the room until it was hard to believe there was any air left to breath.

The teacher shook her head in disbelief. "No." A pause. "Now if you'd paid attention you'd know..." Gwen stopped listening then. She just didn't care.

Gwen let her head fall down on her desk with a thud, her hair splaying out around her face to cover it from any amused eyes. And she wasn't about to move either. She stayed that way until the bell rang and everyone else had scattered.

She then slowly lifted her head from her desk, looking carefully around to make sure there was truly no one there before rising to her feet and walking toward the exit.

She sighed sadly as she realized she would probably have to walk home. Snapping at Duncan had burned a major bridge to her usual routine. Then again...she wasn't supposed to take rides from him anymore anyway.

Gwen grimaced slightly, hating both the fact that this was a rule and that she was now blindly conforming to it. She shouldn't bend to such mindless restrictions put on her by Trent. If anything she should fight it! Yet...she did not, could not, and ultimately would not. She was pathetic.

"Sup babe?" she heard, lifting her gaze to meet Duncan's calm teal eyes. He stood tall, arms crossed over his chest, and a grin plastered on his face.

Gwen swallowed hard. "Nothing." she looked away from him.

"Want a ride?" he offered her his hand so as to lead her over to his car.

Gwen sighed in her head. It was such a nice car, and he was such a nice guy. How did Trent expect her to deny him this, especially when was his best friend already? He'd easily detect a problem if she started to say no. "I was kinda gonna walk today." she said with a deep frown and guilty eyes.

Duncan's face fell at her answer. "Oh." he muttered. "That's...cool."

Gwen sighed softly, looking further away from her best friend. "Trent wanted to talk about something, so I figured walking home would be a good time." she went on, trying her damnedest to make this sound convincing.

"Ok. I understand." he said with a shrug and a half smile.

Gwen hated herself as she brought her gaze back to him and say how miserable she was making him. He was so saddened that he couldn't even put on a good lying face. Gwen easily saw that it was all just to please her. "Duncan..."

Duncan looked lazily up at her. "Yeah?"

"Will you wait with me?" she asked despite her better judgement. "I want to make sure Trent comes. If not...you can drive me." this was the only way she could change her mind without looking suspicious.

He smiled wholeheartedly again. "Totally." he agreed, sitting down on the soft grass around the school before he reached a hand up to her.

Gwen took it with a smile, allowing him to lower her down beside him.

"So, how's my favorite girl?" Duncan said with a laugh in his tone.

Gwen shrugged, knowing better than to tell the truth. "Fine." One word answers were best.

Despite how Gwen seemed to be doing better than earlier Duncan still couldn't believe she was now 'fine'. Gwen had never snapped at him like that and figured that there was something big going on in the background of her life. "What are your plans then?"

Gwen frowned. "Plans?"

"Yeah, plans." he nodded. "Cause I was kinda hoping that maybe we could-"

No!" she cried instantly.

Duncan blinked confusedly.

Gwen sighed, looking away again. "Trent has been planning something for today for a while." she lied for the umpteenth time. "I don't know what it is...he won't tell me. But I know there's something." A pause. "Sorry."

Duncan snorted. He did not like how she was trying her best to get away from him to be with Trent at every turn. It hadn't been like this before. So why now? "Sure." he shrugged. "What about tomorrow then?" he pressed. He was desperate to spend time with her.

"Maybe..." she mumbled. She wanted to. She just wasn't sure if it was acceptable.

Duncan looked away from her up to the sky. "Nice day, huh?" he changed the subject.

Gwen half smiled. "Sure." she didn't really think so. No day was much good anymore. There was nothing that made it so.

Duncan sighed. He was getting annoyed by Gwen's resistance. He was only trying to have a normal conversation and she blocked him at every turn. Why was she being so difficult? "How bout these flowers?" he tried again, pulling a group of daisy's out of the dirt.

Gwen looked over to see, surprised that they were something more than the weed that was a dandelion. "They're...nice." she admitted, smiling softly.

Duncan returned the smile. "Then here." he said, offering them to her.

Gwen's eyes widened and she nearly lost her voice. "I...um...no."

"Come on." Duncan whined, shoving them in her face. "I want you to have them."

"I really don't want them." she insisted, pushing them gently away so as not to ruin there beauty by breaking a petal.

"You do." he informed her, grinning. "You just don't know it yet." he thrust the flowers back in her face.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Fine, fine, fine..." she finally admitted defeat, taking the delicate flowers from him. They really were beautiful. She didn't know why she pretended not to want them. Well, actually, she did.

Duncan beamed. "They're beautiful, right?" he nudged her gently to let her know she should agree. "Just like you when you smile." he added absentmindedly, a twinge of bitterness hitting him as he thought of how little she did that anymore.

Gwen froze, eyes wide. She wasn't sure how to react at first. Normally her response would be a simple one, but not these days. Still, after much deliberation and unease she did as she knew he expected her to. She playfully hit him. "Shut up." she chuckled.

His smile grew larger still. "No, you shut up." he grabbed her and pulled her over to him, locking her in a hold of the sorts as he began to tickle her.

Gwen screamed rather loudly, but not from fear like it may have sounded to others. She was just having fun. "Stop it!" she said between laughs. "D-D-Duncan!"

His fingers danced over her body, getting every spot he knew was a weakness. "What do you say?" he teased.

"D-Duncan!" she half whined, smile unable to disappear from her pale skinned face.

"Say it." he commanded jokingly.

"F-Fine!" she yelled. "You a-are awesome!" she stopped momentarily as he tickled her harder, her cackling overtaking her words. "Y-You are amazing! And I love you!" she screamed the last part louder than necessary, birds scattering.

Duncan snickered, releasing her. "That's right." he was on cloud nine after having gotten her to say that after she had been so resistant to even look at him beforehand. "And I love you." he said back in a way a best friend would. And everyone got that.

Almost everyone.

"Now gimme a hug." he insisted.

Gwen didn't even think about it for once. She just wrapped her arms around his upper body and rested her head on his shoulder.

Duncan hugged her back, chin resting on the top of her head. "So when's Trent coming?" he asked offhandedly, not intending to upset her all over again.

Gwen lost a bit of life in her eyes, frowning. "I dunno." she mumbled. "Maybe he forgot." this was the point where he would offer her a ride how while silently complaining about how Trent was stupid to forget about someone as cool as her.

Only he didn't have the chance.

As they remained in an embrace the sound of hurried footsteps could be heard coming their way.

Gwen's instinct was to break away from Duncan and jump to her feet, even if it was unlikely to be Trent. It was a permanent program in her mind.

Since Duncan was not in tune to Gwen's new personality he was caught severely off guard by her speed in separating herself from him. "What the heck Gwen?" he cried.

"Gwen?" she heard, soon seeing the figure of Trent approaching fast.

Gwen cowered unnoticeably. "Trent..." she said softly, not having expected him in all honesty. She was banking on Duncan driving her home. "You're here."

"I heard you scream!" he said in alarm, looking furtively about them to see if the culprit could be found. When all he saw was Duncan he became seriously peeved, eyes narrowed into slits, arms crossed.

Duncan stared blankly up at Trent, not completely getting the reason behind his icy stare. "Sup." he said nonchalantly, picking himself up off the ground. "We were just playing around." he shrugged.

Trent snorted lightly. "Fun." he looked back to Gwen. "We're walking." he struggled to hide his disappointment in her.

Gwen swallowed hard, nodding faintly. "I know."

"Hey, wait!" Duncan cried, moving over in front of the pair, a hearty smile present. "Sorry we scared you and all. But, we're cool, right?" he looked intently at Trent.

Trent thought only a moment on it, not meaning his response one bit. "Of course. It was only playing." he stepped around Duncan then, looking back at Gwen who appeared planted to her spot as she fidgeted slightly, silently begged to be spared this walk and her stupidity which led to it. "Come on."

Gwen jerked her head to attention. "Uh-hu!" she agreed, going around Duncan in a similar manner, only, unlike Trent, giving one last fleeting look back to Duncan.

Duncan sensed that Gwen's demeanor had seemed to have altered slightly upon Trent's arrival, but he did not see that it was because she feared Trent himself. All he thought was that she didn't feel like walking or something to that effect. He was nothing more than stupid.

As they began their walk away from Duncan, Trent slipped his hand around Gwen's. It was a simple gesture in and of itself, only it was different for this pair. Instead of showing how sweet of a couple they were it was a secret message between them, a warning of what was to come once they escaped from prying eyes.

Gwen cringed as she felt his fingernails dig into her skin to a degree, hurting her only a fraction of the amount that he would once they arrived home.

It was a good fifteen mile walk from school to her home, but despite this fact not a word was uttered all the way. The silence engulfed them, leaving a bitterness to linger in the air long after the screams rose in the atmosphere.

**...**

Trent slammed her in to the wall with force, a tight grip on her shoulders. "What do you think you were doing?"

Gwen cringed, grunting softly but otherwise remaining silent as he barraged her with harsh words and threats.

"How many times have I told you not to mingle with him? Huh?" he challenged, getting up in her face.

Gwen kept a stone cold expression. "I don't know." she grumbled.

This angered Trent further. "What?" he spat. "What do you mean you don't know?" he brought her toward him and slammed her back in to the wall again. "Are you saying you don't listen to me?" his grip on her grew tighter.

"No." she squeezed out, lips quivering slightly. "You've just said it so many times that I don't bother counting anymore." she said bitterly, averting her eyes so as not to look at his reaction while simultaneously making sure to brace herself for the backlash.

Trent's eyes caught fire and nostrils flared. And he automatically slapped her clear across the face. "Wrong answer." he sneered.

Gwen drew in a soft breath in reaction to the hit, but nothing more. This type of treatment was as natural as closing her eyes to sleep and as such was now treated this way. However this didn't mean it didn't still hurt as much as the first time. She still couldn't help but raise a hand to her burning cheek.

"Now." he said sternly, moving both his hands down to her wrists to clench them tightly. "How bout this?" he mused. "What did I tell you just yesterday about** him**?" Trent found that asking a different question each time would sooner garner the answers he desired than repeating them.

Gwen felt a snarl tug at the edges of her mouth. "He's a player. Mingling him will only get you hurt. So don't do it...or else..." she recited numbly.

Trent smiled with a certain darkness. "Exactly." he agreed, brushing her hair back from her face as he moved his head so that his mouth was a mere inch from her ear. "So why is it you can't seem to follow those words?"

Gwen stood stiff as a board as a shiver ran down her spine in response to Trent's breath tickling her neck and ear. The sensation even muted her for a minute.

Trent grit his teeth, impatient. "Hmm?" he pressed, digging his nails deeper in to her skin with the one hand still gripping her wrist.

'I don't want to.' This was what immediately crossed her mind. Of course she was swift in pushing the absurd notion from her thoughts. Instead, she fed him the answer she knew he craved. "I messed up." she conceded in a strained tone, hating herself all the while.

"That's right." his voice remained strangely calm and soothing despite the fact they both knew what would happen next wouldn't be. "And the only way to make sure it doesn't happen again is a little punishment." he pulled away from her, eyes hiding the fury that lurked beneath the surface.

Gwen swallowed hard. "I know." she said a mite bit shakily, looking up in to Trent's green eyes for the first time since they got to her house.

"I love you." he said like he always did, kissing Gwen gently on the lips as he ran his fingers over her cheeks.

Gwen kissed back just like he expected her to, enjoying it not matter how much she told herself not to. And this always made what came next hurt worse.

The instant he drew back his demeanor shifted, eyes narrowed into thin slits and mouth turned into a sharp snarl, and he lashed out like a cobra.

Gwen went flying across the room, crashing into coffee table with a loud bang. She let out a high pitched yelp on impact, her world spinning slightly as she rose to her knees.

Trent was on her in an instant, yanking her up by her hair without the slightest signs of remorse. "Why do you keep doing it?" He spat.

Gwen grit her teeth hard, not moving to fight, just wanting it to end.

"Don't you see that he is trash?" he yelled, slinging her toward the tv with all he had in him.

Gwen missed the tv, catching the corner of the open cabinet door with her head just right. It was like a knife to her head and she whined under her breath.

Trent just stood there a moment, towering over her with his arms crossed over his chest and eyes cold as stone as they bore into her. "Or do you like being hurt?" his tone was more even, but still held an edge.

Gwen breathed heavily in and out, holding her head tenderly as she propped herself up with the other. But whatever she did she didn't dare look up at him for the simple fact that seeing the hate in his eyes would heighten her fear and his desire to continue.

"Get up!" he snapped expectantly, fists quaking dangerously.

Gwen shakily rose to her feet, afraid that her knees would buckle any moment all the while.

As soon as she was level with him he shoved her back down, grinning. "So don't touch him! Don't take charity from him! Don't even **talk** to him!"

Gwen was knocked back into the cabinet, a sharp pain shooting through her body as the corner struck dead center of her back. And, albeit unintentional, the intensity of it made her release a sharp cry.

Trent growled angrily at her volume, stomping closer to yank her back to her feet by her hair once more. "Shut up!" he screamed in her ear. "No screaming!"

Gwen felt tears rise in the corners of her eyes and she swallowed hard, a low whine catching in her throat.

"Now." he hissed, bringing her closer so that he could whisper, "Do we understand each other?"

Gwen nodded as best she could, trying not to make the pain any worse than it was.

Trent cooled so quickly that it seemed unreal. He was wearing a soft smile, eyes gentle as could be. "That's my girl." he cooed, letting go of her hair to pull her into his arms gingerly. "I love you." he said similar to how he had before he'd flung her around like a rag doll.

Gwen swallowed a lump in her throat, speaking shakily. "Yeah..." she murmured. "Me too." And their lips met once more.

Trent's arms wrapped around her waist while Gwen's rested around his neck and they savored the other's taste in their mouths, the previous event all but forgotten.

And that was the end of it.

**Song was Love the Way You Lie by Rihanna and Eminem. And if you feel that Trent is ooc, then that's just too bad. To me this is what their relationship would be like if it weren't a cartoon. Awful? Perhaps. But that's life. Anyway, hope you liked. Please review! :)**


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